Each night before the kids head off to bed they beg and plead and occasionally bribe me to play a game with them. The type of game doesn’t matter as long as it meets the one important criteria: The game must be one that I make up on the spot.

In the past I’ve played a game where the kids run around the living room in circles while I toss couch cushions and throw pillows at them until mom asks WHAT-THE-HECK-DO-WE-THINK-WE’RE-DOING!

Another game I made up while trying to rest on the couch goes something like this: The kids try to sneak up and pull my socks off before I can smack them over the head with a pillow.

Each game I make up includes the tossing or hiding of items that weren’t made for that purpose. That’s what makes the game fun. That’s also what bothers mom. These games are best played while mom is running errands.

Tonight we played a game where the kids line up on the couch and I make a comment that applies to one of them like, “I’m going to tickle the person with the longest hair”. The kids laugh till they cry. Sometimes they just cry if they get passed over one too many times.

I decided to switch things up tonight by chasing the kids around the living room with a nursing cushion that looks like a pillow in the shape of Pac Man. I call it the JAWS OF DEATH if only to make it sound more threatening than its appearance gives off. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Kim use this item. It looks like it could be a neck brace or nifty platform to hold up a set of nursing boobs at just the right angle. I really should pay more attention to these things. But the game entails capturing each child in a Pac Man grip and relocating them back to the couch.

My goal in any of these games is to wear out the kids before I collapse. So far I’m 0 for 25.

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