Getting Upset Over A Cheeseburger

When my daughter slammed a cheeseburger down on the tray because it was supposed to be a hamburger I lost it.

I would normally glare at her until she got the message, but I was well past that point. Instead I lashed out at her in front of the family. That she wouldn’t eat her burger because we’d been given the wrong order was beside the point. I was upset that she’d feel so entitled to slam it down in such a manner.

It wasn’t as if she had snuck out of her room to take the car for the joyride at midnight.

But in the moment it felt like the right action to take, and I let her have it. My daughter was so surprised at my outburst that she followed my example and yelled right back. That’s not normally how she operates.

I don’t recall what I said to her nor do I recall what she said to me. It doesn’t matter though because my message was lost in its delivery. It’s one thing to yell when your child is running towards a busy street. But that wasn’t the case here.

Has someone ever changed your mind after yelling at you? Have you ever changed a person’s mind by yelling at them?

I’ve had nearly 11 years worth of experience as a father, but there are times all that experience doesn’t mean squat.

It’s been a couple of days, and I’ve had to reflect on how I acted. Honestly, I feel sort of numb about it but mostly embarrassed. Embarrassed because my other two sons and daughter and spouse witnessed it.

The next morning I was saying goodbye to the kids who were piled on the couch watching cartoons. My daughter got off the couch, walked over to me and gave me a hug. I patted her on the head a few times, wondering what she was thinking.

I’m not naïve enough to assume that she has forgotten about my actions the night before, nor do I believe she’ll be this forgiving when she reaches her teens and beyond. Even at her age, I would have avoided my mother or father had I been in a similar situation.

If I could take a mulligan I would.

I told my daughter why I was upset and apologized for yelling.  Maybe I’ve banked enough goodwill with her that she knows I love her and don’t normally act the way I did.

I kissed her on the forehead before taking off for work on my bike.

One good thing about having four kids is that I get a lot of opportunities to redeem myself.

Comments

  1. You apologized – that is what is important. You know some people who would not have received an apology from their dad. Remember it but don’t dwell on it. Take care.

  2. While I can see how you would feel badly that you yelled at your daughter, I think you are analyzing the situation entirely too much. People lose their tempers. Parents are not perfect and it is an extremely demanding role to fill. The key here is that it is an exceptional situation in your household. Don’t make too much of it and move on.

  3. My dad used to say, “If you didn’t deserve it this time, remember it the next time you deserve it and I don’t catch you.” Smile!

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