The Voice of a 5-Year Old
Posted on December 14th, 2009 in Fatherhood | 3 Comments »
I like to think that I do a good job of keeping my work at work. A 45-60 minute commute helps clear my mind before I arrive home. But occasionally work spills over into family life.
That’s exactly what happened on Friday.
What should have remained a minor misunderstanding turned into voices being raised. I had many opportunities to put an end to it. Instead I continued to fan the flames until a small issue had escalated into an argument in front of the kids. In the car. Where they could hear every single word.
I couldn’t have botched the situation any worse than I did. I could see it in Kim’s eyes. They said, “Why won’t you drop it?”
Sometimes how something is said carries more weight than what’s said. Yet I didn’t realize it at the time. I kept harping. Wouldn’t let it die. More gasoline on the fire.
I looked straight ahead as I drove. My eyes were on the road, but my mind was elsewhere. Kim was silent. And probably stunned that I came home in such a bad mood on a Friday of all days.
As I’m about to turn around and head back home, I hear the voice of Anna, our 5-year old daughter.
“Dad, you need to talk to mom in a nice voice. If you talk in a nice voice everything will be OK. I know you can do it.”
It took the words of my daughter to jolt me back into reality. I understood how unkind I’d been to Kim in front of four little sponges before being taken to task by a little girl who sleeps with a bed full of stuffed animals.
But on this night, that little girl acted more like an adult than her dad. I’m fortunate that fatherhood provides me many opportunities to redeem myself.
3 Responses
Anna is a real gem and does provide some amazing insight for a young girl. She sure does have a tender heart and wants to be a peacemaker most of the time. We as fathers would be a sorry lot if we didn't listen to and follow those learning moments our children and wives provide. I am sure the Lord knew we were a stubborn lot and needed that guidance. We look for those teaching moments but the learning moments are just as important. The key is to swallow our pride, stop and listen, and be teachable. Good going Brett!!
I read this the other day and didn't have time to respond. I was really touched by this one, Brett. I think there is a lot to learn from our little ones and other people in our lives. You have a sweet family and I am grateful for every single one of you. It takes a lot of courage to write some of the things you do but your experiences have touched many people for the good, I'm sure.
There's that honesty again I've admired in your writing for some time. It takes guts to write something like this but you've helped me. I'm guessing you've helped other as well.