An Education in 4 Days

Kim arrived home early this morning from her brief tip to St. George and I can proudly proclaim that the kids and I didn’t burn down the house. We broke a Nintendo, jumped on un-made beds, fed Elka a bowl of Mac and Cheese, and stayed up late to watch Charlie’s Angels reruns on Nick, but the house is still standing.

This was the longest duration (4 days) I’ve ever been responsible for all three kids without any help from Kim, grandparents or medication. I jotted down a few things that I learned during this time:

1. There are two ways to do things: The Right Way (the way mom does it) and The Wrong Way (everyone else’s way) I’d be a rich man if I had a quarter for every time I heard the phrase, “But that’s NOT the way mom does it” over the four days.

2. You can never have enough chocolate milk in the house.

3. I spent approximately 129 hours doing laundry. And that doesn’t include any ironing, pre-soaking, pre-spotting or pre-counseling.

4. A person could never have enough eyes on their head to keep track of Anna Lynn at all times.

5. The best games are those that are made up on the spot. Their two favorite games were “Guess the Animal” and “Watch dad walk around with his shorts pulled up to his armpits/shirt over his head, “Cornholio” style.

6. Chores get done faster and better when it’s part of a game as in “Let’s see how fast you can lay away your church clothes….the winner gets to help me take out the garbages!!”

7. Never assume that the color of the cup, spoon or cup doesn’t matter. Getting the right color combinations is a matter of life or death.

8. At bedtime no matter how many stories you read, it will NEVER be enough.

9. When one of the kids says, “I need to go potty” that doesn’t mean when the meal is over, when you get home or in the next few minutes. It means, grab the kids and beeline it to the bathroom.

10. There are two kinds of Grandmas and Grandpas: One with Brooke that lives “really far away” and one with Ozzie that lives “really really far away”.

But the best thing I learned over the 4 days is that we have three great kids. Some of the best times were when one was on my lap and the other two were leaning on my shoulders while we watched that guy who lives in a pineapple under the sea. It was a hectic and crazy 4 days at times. And I’d do it again…..when they are old enough to do their own laundry.


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