How’s is my driving?

Back when I used to watch David Letterman in the early 90’s, one of my favorite episodes showed him following a mattress delivery van around Manhattan. On the back of the van was one of those “How’s my Driving?” stickers with a phone number to call. Well, in typical Dave style, he called the number and gave a play by play description of the van’s movements to the operator. I recall him saying, “The van is pulling up to a red light. So far so good. What else do you want to know?”

These days one doesn’t have to look far to find similar “How’s my driving?” stickers or feedback cards. Many restaurants now include a feedback card with the check. Last time I bought a car I received a “How did the dealer treat you” postcard I was supposed to fill out. I never filled it out so they called me to ask how I was treated. I recently purchased a furnace and a few days later I received a survey in the mail asking how pleased I was with the installer. At the last company I worked for, we received an update on the monthly average of survey scores. When the average was over 9 we acted like we were the next 37 Signals. When we dipped under 8 we were the next Pets.com. Everybody wants to know how they are doing these days.

But one of the more interesting feedback signs I’ve come across is the one found on the soda cooler at my work. Right there on the glass door is the name and picture of the individual who refills the cooler each evening. I assume he fills it during the evening because I never see him during the day. Right there next to his picture are the words, “How am I doing?” and then an email address.

I wonder if many people are so happy or unhappy with the free sodas that they take the time to send email to an alias? If so, who are these people? I’m curious to know if anyone reads the feedback so I’m going to send one of the following feedback:

1. I couldn’t be happier with the way our cooler is filled. All the right flavors organized like the cupboards in Sleeping with the Enemy.

2. Generally good job but Diet Coke cans could be pulled closer to front of case.

3. No Mellow Yellow? What a crock!

4. Ran out of chocolate milk again. Room for improvement.

I don’t mind companies who genuinely want to improve their business by gathering feedback. But it’s easy to see right through those who are only concerned about the score. These companies badger the crap out of customers to get a number when only the right number will do. What is the difference between a 7 and 9 anyway? To me the number means absolutely nothing without descriptive feedback. In fact, keeping a running score seems about as useful as McDonald’s telling us how many hamburgers they’ve sold. To the guy deciding whether to pony up two bucks for a Big Mac, is there any difference between having sold 80 billion vs.90 billion?

At my current company the survey results only go up to 9 which is hilarious. We’ve told ourselves that nobody can realistically earn a 10 so we we lower the high score to 9. So I guess 9 is the new 10.

Are you employees more concerned about coaching the right number out of your clients or actually taking care of your clients?