Open Letter to Costco

Dear Costco:

I know we have a love/hate relationship. I love your prices and large quantity products like the mondo box of Slim Jims. You make it exciting by moving stuff around so that my shopping experience feels like a game of “hide and go seek”. I can get over the lack of assistance on the floor and “no signs” approach. It helps me get my daily exercise when I have to walk up and down every single isle looking for that 3 lb. bag of raw almonds. Oh there you are, next to the tires! These traits are endearing and the very reasons I continue coming back for more.

But here’s what I can’t deal with any longer: Smiley faces. You know what I’m talking about. Those adorable smiley faces your door enforcers draw on my receipt when I happen to bring one of my kids along.

Going forward I’d like to suggest this rule: No smiley faces whatsoever if there is more than one person in line. I’m tired of being the 8th person in line to get out the door while one of your enforcers decides to go all Picasso on us.

Regards,

Brett