I said, “Please pickup your shoes and put them in your closet”
Anna heard, “Please pickup shoes and toss down the laundry chute”
I said, “Find you sister and come upstairs for dinner”
Lincoln heard, “Find three more stars in Mario Galaxy”
I said, “Please drain the tub and dry yourself off”
The kids heard, “Please splash 20 gallons of water onto the bathroom floor and run around the house naked”
I said, “Please pull out your homework and finish your math”
Luca heard, “Please help yourself to bowl of Cheerios 30 minutes after dinner”
I said, “It’s time for bed”
The kids heard, “It’s time to jump on mom and dad’s bed”
I said, “Please feed the dog”
Anna heard, “Please feed your grilled cheese sandwich to the dog”
I said, “Wear the clothing mom put out for you on your bed”
Anna heard, “Put together the most hideous looking outfit known to mankind”
I said, “Please only use as much toilet paper as you need”
The kids heard, “Please use no less than 185 sheets at a time”
I said, “Please hang up your church dress”
Luca heard, “Please toss your church dress in the middle of the living room”
I said, “Walk as quietly as you can down the church hallway”
The kids heard, “Stomp your feet loud enough that everyone will know we have arrived”
We must speak a different language. Maybe when they reach middle school they’ll have the opportunity to learn the language called Parental English.
Because something is getting lost in translation.
5 thoughts on “What Kids Hear”
Cute. Clever. Oh so true!
If I say “don’t touch my things” my kids hear “go open my wallet and help yourself to a five-spot.”
Funny stuff! Good share man.
Brett, I laughed so hard at this. Welcome to MY life!! Oh, and forget holding out ANY hope that middle school will change things. Or high school. Or college. Trust me, I know.
But you know this could go the opposite way, “What Parents Hear”
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