I came across this news article where a 24-year old man was attacked for his bologna sandwich.
Now I’ve heard of kids getting attacked for their iPods or Air Jordans before, but a bologna sandwich?
Yet that’s not what caught my eye.
According to the article, “Police said Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents.”
Specifically, that last sentence has been on my mind. For example:
- Who determined the sandwich was worth 76 cents?
- Does the police department employ a sandwich appraiser?
- If so, at what point of the investigation is he/she called in? Before or after the blood spatter expert?
- Where do I apply for this job? I know my sandwiches.
- Who decided to throw in the value of the sandwich to the police report? Give this person a raise!
My favorite part is that someone actually assessed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents. Not 75 cents. Not a dollar. This leads me to believe someone is taking his job very seriously. Maybe, taken as a whole, the sandwich was worth a buck, but a bite was missing.
Maybe sandwiches are dirt cheap in Oklahoma, because I can’t find one for under four bucks in Seattle. I wonder if the person who made the sandwich isn’t offended that his sandwich creation was assessed such a small value. If I had made one of my sandwiches I know I’d be calling the Oklahoma City Police and asking for a reappraisal.
Someone took a boring police report and added a little personality to the situation. We need more people like this in the world.