Shark Tales

The story always starts with three guys who get themselves into a situation of imminent danger. Miraculously, a genie appears and grants each  a single wish. The first two wisely use their wish to get themselves to safety.

But the third guy? Well, he’s not very smart. He foolishly uses his wish as a means of entertainment.

I’m not sure why my kids like these stories so much. One night I didn’t feel like searching for a book to read them so I made up such a story on the spot. Now I’m asked to create a new story each night. That’s a lot of pressure, and I’m beginning to run out of dangerous situations. I’ve used floods, volcanoes, earthquakes, lions, snakes, fires, and hurricanes.

Yet nothing will ever match the shark.

See, these three guys went scuba diving, but were quickly  surrounded by a ferocious and very hungry shark.

“When was the last time the shark ate?” asks Lincoln.

“6 months. Maybe longer!”, I lie, hoping to convince the kids he’s one ravenous shark.

Suddenly, a genie appears out of thin air. Sensing the men are in danger, he grants each of them a wish. One guy wishes for a Jet Ski he rides to shore. Another is pulled to safety by a passing fishing boat.

But the third guy. He’s not very smart.

As the shark circles the third guy, the genie is perplexed when he asks for a large foam finger. Like the ones you see at college football games.

“That’s your wish?” asks the genie.

“Yep, one giant foam finger”

The genie grants his wish and a foam finger appears. As the genie disappears the shark races towards the guy. But at the last second, the guy pulls out the foam finger and pokes the shark in the eye. Embarrassed and sporting one incredibly bloodshot eyeball, the shark swims back to the ocean in search of easier prey.

Yep, this is how I spend my time with my kids. Maybe I should be at the park or the museum. Would they be better off if I read children’s classic literature to them? 

Maybe so.

But nothing beats the shark.