There are days that start off poorly and only get worse.
The days I can barely get out of bed because I played basketball till midnight foolishly assuming I still have the energy and body of a 20-year old.
The evenings when my kids petition for a new dad because the incumbent won’t let them eat popcorn and “Gogurt” for dinner.
The afternoons when I become glued to my computer and fail to help Kim around the house.
The nights I stay up way too late watching six episodes of SportsCenter followed by a 30 minute infomercial for the “Perfect Pushup”. Maybe if I was as ripped as this guy my kids would finally flush their floaters.
There are days where I put my headphones on to drown out a fight that started when Lincoln’s game of Super Mario was interrupted by a belch to the ear delivered by his sister.
There are days when the day’s work gives me a headache, and I walk in the door and crash on the couch without any regard to what Kim went through that day.
I’ve had nearly 12 years to work on becoming a better husband. I’m like the baseball player who can’t make it out of Double A ball because he can’t hit lefties.
Students have earned advanced degrees in far less time, so why does it feel like I’m still stuck in remedial fatherhood much of the time? I should have learned my lesson on the midterm that whites and colors don’t mix. What do you mean Luca doesn’t need another pink t-shirt?
Many times, fatherhood feels like a pop quiz where the kids are asking the questions based on material I had no way of studying beforehand. Occasionally I learn as I go along. Other times, I pencil in “B” to all fifty questions and call it a day.
Yet I keep plugging away.
Because there are nights like tonight where I’m given the opportunity to take my son upstairs to his bed. He’s flops like a warm rag doll over my shoulder as I head up the stairs. He looks so peaceful tucked into his bed. I stand back and look at him and think to myself how lucky I am to have such a great kid.
Maybe I’m the father that finally hits stride in his mid 40’s without the performance enhancing drugs.