The games start the minute mom runs into the store leaving me alone in the car with the kids with no adult supervision to be found.
And by game I mean anything that mom would veto but that might slip by dad.
“Dad, let’s take turns saying all the jobs you do. Then we’ll say all the jobs mom does.”
This feels like Bert and Ernie, I say to myself.
“Ok”, I reply assuming I got off easy. Any game that doesn’t include exposing bare buttocks is progress. Celebrate the small victories, I say.
“Dad kills the spiders”, begins Anna with what I’m sure will be the first of many.
“That’s all you can think of? I do more than that, don’t I?”
“Well, you pickup the dog poop in the backyard.” Lincoln adds.
“Really? That’s all you can think of? I do the laundry.”
“But mom folds and puts it away.”
“But I wash the cars"
“Mom does that and vacuums.”
“Well, I take out the garbage. Aha! You forgot about that one!”
“So does mom when you’re at work”.
I’m up against a tough crowd tonight. It’s as if Kim put them up to this little exercise, yet I know she didn’t.
“Well, mom does a lot doesn’t she? She does a lot more than your old dad.”
As I stare towards the store waiting for Kim to return and save me from more questions, Luca chimes in with, “It’s OK, dad. Just keep making the money.”
Next time, I’m leaving Kim in the car while I buy the diapers.