Awkward Return

“No bums touched it”

I had a toilet seat to return to Lowe’s and the kids decided to tag along. Leave it to Anna to break the ice as I handed the employee a box containing the seat and a badly folded receipt.

“Did you open the box?” the young man asked. seat

“Yes, I opened it, but….”

Given the detail provided by my daughter, he decided to cut me off and avoid further awkwardness by quickly processing my refund.

My fault for purchasing the wrong sized toilet seat. A quick Google search would have told me there are two standard sizes; oblong and round.

With refund in hand, I headed back to the bathroom section of the store. The kids were thrilled to see dozens of toilet seats hanging from the wall. Luca liked the padded models. Lincoln thought a wooden trim would work best. And Anna wanted take one for a test drive.

I explained that we can’t test a toilet seat in the manner to which she was referring. I found a round American Standard model in white and headed towards the register.

Once the new seat was installed, guess who was the first to take it for a real-world test drive?

4 thoughts on “Awkward Return

  1. Taking your kids anywhere without a muzzle is always dangerous. I remember when one of my grand kids announced in a loud voice ” My grandpa is a bad example” I don’t remember what it was all about, but I now remember to be very, very careful when out and about the the grand kids!!!


  2. This is charming. I wish I found this much joy in toilet seats! Actually, let me rethink that; I do. One of the greatest comforts is having a seat that “fits” nicely.


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