A Pile of Expectations

When I attend church, I’m reminded of all the times I come up short in my responsibilities as a church member, husband and father. There are times in my life where work, family and religion live together in harmony.

That’s not how it’s felt lately.

Pick two, any two and I’m within my comfort zone. But add one more and I sputter, veer off the road and crash into a pile of expectations.

I sat at my computer this afternoon doing a little of everything except being productive. I was aware that Luca was sitting at the computer behind me, but paid her little attention. Her brother and sister were off having fun running through the water, but Luca didn’t want to wear a swimming suit until it was too late.

“This is my time to chat with Luca”, I told myself. She’d been at the beach with her grandparents for the past week.

Then again, maybe I should let her cool down. She doesn’t look happy. I’ll wait till she looks like she wants to talk. Yep, I’ll keep waiting.

And so I waited.

And waited some more before my mind drifted off to some part of the web I wouldn’t remember thirty seconds after closing my browser.

That’s when I noticed Luca pushing her chair towards mine. What does she want? Probably to fetch her favorite snack: refried beans and tortilla chips. Or maybe she wants to borrow my iPad. Or beg me to play Sorry or Apple to Apple with her.

But I was wrong.

Luca scooted her chair next to mine then leaned over and put her head on my shoulder without saying a word.

It shouldn’t take my daughter’s affection to snap me out of a funk. These concerns of mine won’t matter a week or even a day from now.

All those imperfections I see in myself don’t matter to her. She sees a shoulder to lean on when things aren’t going her way.

I’m glad I was wrong.

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