The Longest Three Hours

Church used to be the most relaxing, enjoyable three hours of the week. This was back when Sunday service was about reflection and singing and fellowship. We came home invigorated for the week ahead.

But since we’ve added young children to the mix, church is about as relaxing as a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese. Now church is about:

  1. 45 trips to the bathroom and drinking fountain
  2. Putting Cheerios in the hair of the lady sitting in front of us
  3. Making faces at the people sitting behind us
  4. Giving dad a ‘wet willie’
  5. Searching for the largest piece of bread from the sacrament tray and yelling “OH YEAH!” when found
  6. Using dad’s silk tie to wipe boogers

And this doesn’t even get us half way through the meetings. I’m totally worn out before we’ve heard from the youth speaker.

Today we sat on the far left side of the chapel on a short rows second from the front. Sitting on the front row with kids is pure punishment because there’s nothing to cage them in. So we sit one row back which is great for keeping them from escaping to the drinking fountain, but it puts us in direct view of the bishop and other leaders. I can only imagine what he’s thinking as Anna yells “BUTT!” during the passing of the sacrament.

I suppose it’s good for our kids to learn to behave during meetings and get along in close quarters for a few hours. Church gives them a chance to learn about the gospel and interact with friends and teachers. They have the opportunity to speak and say prayers and attend activities and contribute to service projects.

Maybe next week I’ll bring my own bag of cereal. And it will be some of the good stuff.

Like Cap’N Crunch, because I’m going to need the sugar high to keep up with my kids.

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3 thoughts on “The Longest Three Hours

  1. You never know what you miss till its gone. I remember being pregnant and thinking how nice it will be having an excuse to get up from classes and walk the halls on the days when the teachers are more than dull. Now I am in nursery as well as my 20 month old and I have so much longing to just sit in a class with adults and relearn how to say a full prayer. I couldn’t tell you what book they are studying in Sunday school or who is in the RS presidency. To think, the last leader in nursery was there for 5 years. Oh what a daunting thought. How many of my kids will be out of nursery before me?


  2. it gets better, i promise. and probably sooner for you. my kids have always been little hellions in church. but finally, grayson and hattie are begining to sit quietly. and you probably know, they are not quiet kids.
    amanda- i see no reason why you can’t request to be released from nursery after a year. that’s a tough calling to have and keep your spirituality, and sanity, intact.


  3. I wish that I had kids to drive me crazy at church. You’d be amazed at how many people are probably looking at you, wishing they were you. Keep it up!


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