Category: Thoughts

That Sickening Feeling I Can’t Shake

I doubt the feeling will ever go away. It’s a sickening feeling that sends a chill down my spine. I grit my teeth as the experience flashes before my eyes.

And it happens each time I pull into the garage and exit my car. It’s like a bad nightmare that becomes more engrained each time I think about it. I’m sure blogging about it won’t help either.

Nearly 9 years ago we lived in our first home in Woodinville, WA. We loved the huge trees that surrounded our small red house and the privacy our cul-de-sac afforded. Our home sat on a hill, and each morning I’d drive down through the morning fog that covered the roads and fields like a gigantic down pillow.

Seldom was I in a hurry. And even if I was late to work, I didn’t speed. Why rush my drive through the clouds? It was one of the few peaceful times of my day aided by the absence of traffic. I’d roll down my windows to hear the roosters crowing.

But my return trip home was anything but peaceful. Lots of merging and stop and go traffic. The crowing was replaced by honking. Driver’s with short fuses produced a lot of waving of the one finger variety.

By the time I’d pull up our steep driveway and into the garage I’d be worn out. Back then I drove a black VW Passat with a 5-speed. It was the first car I bought when I moved to Seattle after realizing a rear-wheel drive Miata wasn’t suited for Seattle’s wet roads.

On this warm summer day, I jumped out of the Passat and noticed my garbage bin was at the end of the driveway. As I took a few steps down the hill I decided to turn around. I don’t know why I turned around. I don’t remember hearing anything. But I instinctively turned my body to the side at the very moment my car’s front bumper skimmed my hip. I wasn’t hurt but I couldn’t stop my car hurtling towards the street.

In that split second my heart sunk. I was helpless. A number of children lived in our neighborhood. It wasn’t uncommon to see people walking their dogs down our street. As my car picked up speed, I looked towards the road and assumed it would crash into the house across the street.

But as the rear wheels hit the street, the front wheels jerked hard to the left. My car was going so fast that it made a quick U-shape before turning back towards my next door neighbor’s home. At this point the back end of the car smashed into my their sturdy mailbox before slamming into two decorative trees.

I still stood there in my driveway. Too stunned to move. What if my car had hit a child playing basketball on the outdoor basketball hoop? Or a mother and father walking their dog? What if my car had sailed straight into my neighbor’s garage where their children often worked? What if I hadn’t turned around in that split second on my driveway?

Thinking about that afternoon gives me chills. The mailbox and trees were easily replaced. But my failure to engage the parking break could have caused unspeakable tragedy that day.

I wish I didn’t have to relive those feeling each time I get out of my car. But if it helps me reminder to use the parking brake then it’s a small price to pay.

Technology Requires Patience

The problem with the first MP3 player I owned wasn’t the fact that it only held about eight songs. Or the poor display or sketchy ID tag support.

No, the real problem with the Diamond Rio 300 was that I spent more time getting mp3 files onto the device than I did actually listening to them. The same scenario was played out with another half dozen players until the iPod came along.

My iRiver H-120 had a number of features not found on the iPod. But what features the iPod had, it did well. Apple made it easy to get music on the iPod. Isn’t that what’s it’s all about? Actually listening to your music!

My more geeky friends talk about how their Zune has an FM radio or their Creative or Archos devices support more video formats. But those products are stuck in niche markets because they are difficult for non-geeks to use. Both my parents own iPods and never once have they called me for technical support. Apple make sure the important features work and avoid complexity. Even if it means cutting a few features.

I recently had dinner with friends about my age. Both are smart, well-educated people who work outside the field of technology. It was fascinating to hear them talk about technology in regards to computers and mobile phones. They want new phones but don’t want the hassle of relearning a new model. And how do they move all those contact and numbers over to the new phone?

And their kids know more about the computer than the parents. This brought back memories of every high school computer course I took. By the third week, the students were doing the teaching.

Maybe I should be happy that technology is still difficult to use since my job relies on non-geeks paying people like me to help them wade through their options. If we ever get to the point where technology is easy to use, I will be looking at a career change.

But technology is still much too difficult to use. Computer and phones are still a mess. Occasionally I come across a product that works as advertised like the Flip Mino, but they are rare.

I don’t know if the iPhone is the best gadget ever or if my judgment is clouded by the fact I wanted to throw my Windows Mobile phone against the wall every day. Does Windows 7 feel good because Vista was so bad? Now iTunes wants to update itself and trick me into installing the Safari browser. Where did that toolbar come from?

Can we trust anyone?

No wonder my friends decided to stick with their old phones and computer when companies promise improvements but only if we’ll hand over our wallets.

I’m baffled by what we’re willing to put up with. It’s time we begin demanding products that work as advertised. 

Your Father’s Search Engine

Bing vs. Google.

The comparisons are inevitable.

As Google continues to speed away from Microsoft Live Search in terms of market share (and profits), Ballmer’s crew had to do something drastic. 

And Bing is their Hail Mary.

Which brings us how it stacks up against Google. Some say it’s better than Live Search. Some say it’s clean and fast. It certainly feels modern.

But is it better than Google?

IT DOESN’T MATTER.

Microsoft concedes they are the underdogs, and simply being “as good as Google” will not lead to increased market share.

Search actually works quite well. Most people do not have a search problem. They aren’t looking for a solution because they don’t have a problem.

So why doesn’t it matter?

It doesn’t matter because Microsoft didn’t build Bing for the savvy internet user. Here’s the profile of the average Bing user:

  • Purchases computer at retail store
  • Uses default web browser which is nearly always Internet Explorer
  • Does not know how to change default search provider in browser
  • Leaves homepage set to “MSN"
  • Types “www” in front of every URL

Microsoft understands many users do not under the benefits of  installing a modern and more stable browser such as Firefox, Safari, or Opera. Maybe nobody has shown them the number of cool plugins that are available for these other browsers. Or maybe a browser is just a browser to them in the same way that a pair of skis are just skis to a beginner.

Whatever the reason, Microsoft is aware of the fact that the sheer number of Windows users automatically guarantees Internet Explorer will be the default browser on most computers. And what search engine do you think Internet Explorer uses unless the user changes it?

Let’s see how easy it is to change the default search engine in Internet Explorer to Google. Just complete the following ten steps:

  1. With IE open, click on “Tools”
  2. Select “Internet Options”
  3. Select “Programs” tab
  4. Click “Manage add-ons” button
  5. Another window open. Select “Search Providers” from left pane
  6. At very bottom of window, select “Find more search providers”
  7. Another instance of IE opens. Scroll through list till you find “Google Search Suggestions”
  8. Click “Add to Internet Explorer”
  9. Another box pops up. Click “Make this my default search provider” box.
  10. Click “Add”

Thank you, Microsoft, for streamlining the process!

How many people do you know who will jump through all those hoops? Will your friends? How about your parents or grandparents? Even savvy users will give up and use whatever came with Windows.

Microsoft knows this.

Microsoft has no incentive to make it easy to switch search engines within their browser. I have to believe this factored into Google’s decision to release their own web browser: Chrome.

And that’s why it ultimately doesn’t matter if Bing is better than Google. It doesn’t have to be better. It doesn’t even need to be as good as Google. It merely needs to do a reasonable job. Bing’s search results even LOOK like Google’s. I doubt that’s by accident.

Just as many DVR owners think they are using Tivo when, in reality, they are using some watered down DVR from the cable company, many Bing users will continue to tell others how they “googled it”.

When over 90% of computers run your operating system, you don’t have to build a great web browser. Merely adequate will do.

The same goes for your search engine.

Garbage Day

Every Sunday evening, I get my butt off the couch, put on some slippers and head out the garage where our recycle and garbage bins are located. Monday morning is garbage day in our neighborhood, and I like to move the bins to the curb the night before so the raccoons have at least one bin night to sift through it.

It’s been this way for a couple of years now, yet our neighbor hasn’t figure this out yet.

See my neighbor is like an impatient fisherman who swaps bait every other cast.

Last week he decided to roll out his garbage bins on Wednesday night. The week before that he gave Thursday morning a try hoping to reel in a pick up. A while back he rolled them out on Monday evening as I was returning mine to the garage.

Each week I try to guess which night I’ll look out my window and watch my confused neighbor roll his bins to the curb. After both are in place, he’ll give a quick glance down the street. I suspect he’s looking for validation in the form of more bins on the curb.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once and a while, right?

Maybe I should just tip him off to the elusive Monday morning pickup.

But only if he agrees to stop parking his incredibly ugly van in front of my house.

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30 Years of Hurt

Hearing first hand how my actions hurt someone nearly 30 years ago wasn’t the most uncomfortable part of the conversation.

Not even close.

What stung the most was the fact this person could recite the hurtful words I called her verbatim.

As quickly and as callously they flew from my mouth, they were long gone and forgotten. Like a bomb that inflicts damage on impact while the plane safely flies away.

But for her they lingered. Etched in memory all these years.

When I called her an “MR”, the neighbor kids knew it stood for “Mental Retard”. Maybe such language was funny to a 10-year old boy. But it wasn’t to a young girl. And that was just the start.

How could I have been so mean? I never considered myself a bully. But I’m now forced to consider how inappropriate my actions were to this person who was shy and never tossed hurtful comments in my direction.

What is the appropriate response? I wasn’t sure so I sat back and listened. What I learned was that this wasn’t a one time occurrence. My behavior took place over a number of years.

When she finished, I wasn’t sure what to say. How do I apologize for 30 years worth of hurt?

“I feel so bad. Is it too late to say I’m sorry?”

“Of course not”

And with that the forgiveness process began. There’s no statute of limitations when it comes to asking for forgiveness.

I wouldn’t have blamed her if she decided to get this off her chest and then move on, wanting nothing to do with me again.

But she gave me a second chance. That it came many years later makes no difference. Not everyone gets a second chance. Especially in friendships.

So I will embrace this one.

Because today I not only learned a valuable lesson, I may have gained a friend, 30 years in the making.

The Most Valuable Skill I Gained In College

Assuming I work into my mid 60’s, I’m nearing the half-way mark of my career. Although I attended a couple of quarters of college before spending two years working as a missionary for my church, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about what to study until well into my junior year at the University of Utah. And even then, I had no idea where a degree in German coupled with a few business courses would take me.

I didn’t realize that few would ask about my major course of study or what I learned. Sure, they appreciated the fact that I had I degree, but that was merely the first hurdle to jump. Having a degree got me a 30 minute interview slot with companies like Sears, Enterprise Rent-A-Car and Deseret Book. If they valued what I learned in four years of college courses, it didn’t come through during the interview process. What did come through was the fact that I’d run the gauntlet of late nights, early morning courses and teacher assistants. I’d stuck it out, and hopefully some of those endurance skills would translate to a successful employee.

Now that I’m more than 15 years removed from the college scene, I’ve thought about what I learned and what I’d change if I knew then what I know now. I’ve thought about what I’ll tell my children when they consider going away to college.

The best I came up with is this:

COLLEGE OPENED MY MIND TO DIFFERING IDEAS

It’s taken a while to recognize how valuable this been. I grew up in a mid-sized town in Utah where many neighbors shared basically the same values. Diversity was defined by the the color of your skin and by the church you attended each Sunday.

But college changed all this. Suddenly I was faced with ideas I’d never considered let alone heard. I was forced to take a position on topics outside of my comfort zone. I had to research and think through various ideas. I had to fight through many prejudices. I had to finally stand on my own two feet. More than once this resulted in admitting, “I don’t know why I believe this” or “I’ve never considered that before”

Sure, I’ll probably tell my kids that earning a college degree will put them in a better position to earn a good living and how it will teach them valuable skills such as writing and introduce them to topics like music and art which they otherwise may not have considered.

Side note on writing skills – I’m usually able to predict whether or not an applicant has earned a degree before I get to the education section of the resume. Occasionally I’m fooled, but not often. Writing is so important in our business that I Google every applicant’s name looking for details I can’t find on your resume. If I find your blog, I’ve hit the gold mine. If you’re a great writer this can be a very good thing.

If you’re currently looking for a job, do you have a blog? If so, does it represent you well to potential employers?

But my hope is that college will challenge their minds and force my kids to consider new ideas. I hope some will contradict their current beliefs. That’s when the real growth occurs.

I see too many young men and women turn away from college to pursue careers in technology or other disciplines that don’t necessarily require a college degree. For them, college is a means to an end where the end is an adequate paying job. If they can skip college to collect a paycheck then why stick around another 4 years?

I understand there are exceptions, but I believe these young people are sacrificing long term benefits for short term financial gain. That $20/hr. job may sound sufficient today, but will they be happy when they’re passed over for promotion down the road when they go up against the coworker with a degree? I’ve seen this happen dozens of times at the companies I’ve worked for. What’s sad is that the employee who was skipped over often has no idea why.

I’m thankful my father worked his way through college with two young children and a part-time job washing cars. He set a good example that helped me stay in school during several times I considered leaving. Having gone through it himself, his encouragement carried more weight than had he dropped out or not gone at all.

On My Mind

The skies of Seattle stubbornly opened up and allowed a few hours of sun to shine down on us today. We’ve been waiting for signs of spring when the kids can go outside without tracking a dump truck full of dirt inside our home.

After a morning of basketball my legs were wobbly, my body ached, and my mind was everywhere yet nowhere. Do you recall a time when you were day dreaming yet couldn’t remember a single topic or idea afterwards?

That’s how I felt today as I pulled through Wendy’s with a large Diet Coke in hand. I noticed the blue sky and decided to pull over and enjoy a few minutes of solitude. I turned off my iPhone and the radio. Only the sun roof was open, and my scalp was already warm from the sun beating down on it.

At home was Kim who had been watching our four children for several hours. Well, watching certainly doesn’t do justice to the energy and patience it takes to care for young children. She would have made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, made beds, done laundry and got dressed while our one year old scattered measuring cups, cereal, laundry, and pots around the house.

Still I sat there in my car enjoying a few minutes minus the kids. It’s been a few years since I’ve had time to myself. When I first moved to Seattle I liked to drive across the floating bridges that connect Seattle to Mercer Island and Bellevue. Late night was the best time because I would open the moon roof and enjoy the cool breeze and star spotted dark skies on clear nights.

Maybe it’s the news. Or the economy. Or the job. Where is this country headed and what does the future hold for my children? Will I have a job a year from now? If I don’t, what will I do to support my family? Is Seattle where we should continue to live?

This is the most unsettled I’ve felt in my life. Yet it comes at a time when I feel we should be putting down roots which provides that stability for our children. I grew up in one city, in one house while my dad worked the same job for over 30 years. Is that how it’s supposed to be done?

I don’t know.

I flipped the ignition key and my quiet few minutes were history as I headed back home up the twisty roads of Lea Hill. I took the long away around the hill. I turned onto our street and drove to the end before pressing the button that opened the garage door to our humble yellow home.

As I was getting out of the car, Luca appeared. She stood there waiting for me to come around the car where she could give me a hug.

“But I just finished playing basketball and my hair is still wet”

“I don’t care, Dad. I missed you”

I should have taken the short cut.

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What Makes a Friend

Lately I’ve been thinking about what makes a friend. The definition of friend seems a a little hazy lately given the hype around social media such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and the like.

For example, I have over 600 friends on Facebook and nearly 2500 followers on Twitter. I’ve met some nice people on both sites. Even had extended conversations with a few of them.

But are they friends?

A German who made an impression on my life once told me that “one has as many friends as fingers on one hand”.

I scoffed at this notion when I heard him say that. No more than five friends? Give me a break. I felt like I had made dozens of friends in high school and college.

That was twenty years ago. And I’m finally beginning to understand what his definition of a friend is. He later told me that American’s didn’t seem genuine in many social interactions. “Stop by if you make it to Utah” felt rehearsed rather than sincere. What came across as an off-handed comment by an American could be taken as an invitation to a German.

I know I’ve been guilty of this.

So what makes a friend? I’m still working on a definition. Although maybe it will always be a work in progress. Kim says that one characteristic of a friend is someone who, no matter how much time has passed, she can pickup a conversation with them like it was yesterday.

That sounds better than anything I’ve been able to come up with.

And that list fits on one hand.

What makes a friend for you?

The Smoke Break

There’s one thing I can always count on when I visit the local Fred Meyer: A group of employees will be standing a few feet from the entrance puffing on cigarettes.

I’m so accustomed this gang of uniformed smokers that I keep an eye out for them when looking for a parking spot. If they are grouped together on the right side of the door, I’ll look for a spot on the left and vice versa.

Sometimes the gang is so large that I can’t avoid their fast moving smoke cloud. Nothing like a nice blast of second hand smoke to the face before heading to the produce section to thump a few cantaloupe.

It shouldn’t be this way.

I don’t know why more business owners don’t designate smoking areas AWAY from where customers can see them. Maybe such areas exist but are not enforced.

If you had an employee with a perpetual flatulence problem, would you have him greet each potential customer with a stink bomb? Yet that’s basically what you’re doing when you allow your employees to blow smoke around the entrance.

Fred Meyer employees are not the only culprits. I’ve pulled up to restaurants only to see a couple of employees sitting on the curb smoking not 20 feet from the entrance. My first thought is, “Are either of those two going to prepare my food?” Lately, I just keep on driving and take my business elsewhere.

Although I find the thought of smoking repulsive, I understand I live in a country where people have the freedom to suck on cancer sticks. What I do not appreciate is having to breath in the pollution this gross habit produces.

As much as I like Fred Meyer, I will take my business elsewhere the next time I notice the chain gang of smokers near the entrance.

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A Few Things That Make Me Happy

Listening to music like this or this as LOUD as I want when I’m home alone.

Receiving positive feedback on an employee who doesn’t receive much recognition.

Holding hands with Luca and Lincoln while walking to the bus stop.

Jumping off the treadmill feeling exhausted and barely able to remove my shoes.

Meetings that get cancelled at the last minute.

The feeling of my teeth after using Rembrandt toothpaste.

My snoring boxer keeping me company late at night while I’m typing at the computer.

Homemade cinnamon rolls delivered warm by good friends. 

Searching for the perfect word to describe a feeling or experience and finding it.

Websites that are optimized for Firefox rather than Internet Explorer. 

Climbing into bed and putting my cold feet on Whim’s legs.

A nacho chip with the right amount of gooey cheese.

Reading the blogs of people who inspire me like Mike, Dave and Edna.

Taking a twisty road on a sunny day in my car.

Brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts.