The Work/Life Balance

Companies toss this around all the time. The folks in HR love to tell potential hires they are proud of their company’s work/life balance making it sound like every manager will accommodate your outside interests.

In my experience those companies that tout having a work/life balance don’t have it and those that do seldom refer to it. I’ve found that it usually comes down to my direct manager who determines this. If the manager lives a balanced life, he’s probably a lot more likely to allow his reports to do the same.

I thought about this topic over the weekend after reading this post from Jason Calacanis where he wrote the following under the title: How to save money running a startup

Fire people who are not workaholics … come on folks, this is startup life, it’s not a game. don’t work at a startup if you’re not into it–go work at the post office or Starbucks if you’re not into it you want balance in your life. For realz.

I saw Jason speak at Gnomedex last year and normally agree with many of his ideas. Like Dave Winer, he’s one of the few web celebrities who makes me think. Jason has started and ran several successful startups I’m sure his opinions on this topic will be taken to heart by other CEOs trying to push their companies to succeed. So I was disappointed to hear him say this having worked at two startups myself. Yet today I notice that Jason has updated this post to now read:

Fire people who are not workaholics. don’t love their work… come on folks, this is startup life, it’s not a game. don’t work at a startup if you’re not into it–go work at the post office or Starbucks if you’re not into it you want balance in your life. For realz.

This is a much better way put across the idea that if you’re starting a company you’d better hire people who are passionate about their work. They may have families, friends and the like but they better be so into their job that they don’t stop thinking of ways to contribute or ways to make the company better. I have a few employees who work for me now who send me emails late at night and on weekends when they come across a new process or technology that might help us take better care of our clients. I love when this happens because I know they are thinking of ways to make our company a better place to work. The job isn’t just a 9-5 thing for them.

I’ve worked with colleagues who were probably disgusted with me at those times I took off to be at a school play or to tend to a sick child. I’m sure they have called me a slacker, but I don’t care. I feel I bring valuable skills to my job that I didn’t possess until I had children. As a manager, these experiences help me relate to those on my team who are going through challenges at home. Who wants to work with those who have few interests outside of their job anyway?

We need to focus on the work a person produces rather than the number of hours he/she spends in the office.

37Signals blog chimes in with “Fire the Workaholics”

My desktop decoration

Let me see if I can explain this thing on my desk at work that’s been gathering dust for the past 8 months. It requires power and is hooked to a cable coming from the wall. On top of each button you’ll find  little painted numbers, icons or symbols. Some buttons are black, a few are blue and one is red.

This device also has a dark LED screen that flashes stuff I don’t understand. My favorite is one called /rc/sipSO.LD. I start each morning by looking at the screen which commands me to “reboot” the system by pressing one of the smaller, darker buttons. Doing so sets off a chain of events such as several more flashing lights followed by the screen flickering on and off a few times. It reminds me of the computer seen on the first season of LOST where I’m never quite certain what my actions may bring, but that red button may or may not fire a nuclear warhead. I pretend that it does and duck for cover.

It took me a few days to realize that this device wasn’t just a desktop decoration. It also includes a slice of plastic about the size of a small shoe which is attached to a cord that’s a hoot to play with. I like to wrap it around my fingers while I push the “Menu” button and scroll through items until I find the “Do Not Disturb” option. Over time, I’ve learned that if I don’t have that set, it will try to entice me into paying it attention by beeping a few times during the day. I hate when that happens.

Today I sent an email to my boss telling him that I no longer have room for this office pet. I inherited a color printer and need to make room for it and a new set of speakers. As much as I’ll miss its svelte shape, colorful tone and chirping voice, it’s time we part ways.

Michael Arrington on Charlie Rose

Michael Arrington, the founder of TechCrunch expounds on Microsoft, Yahoo, Google and Facebook to Charlie Rose. Something I’ve been telling people for a while now he puts into words better than I could. To paraphrase: “The markets where Google makes it money are growing whereas the markets where Microsoft makes it’s money are shrinking”. He also states that the online advertising business will be “another 80/20” business and that Microsoft will be lucky to get 20%.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-8119949202706402691:1369000:1804000&hl=en

The Movie That Changed My Life

There are a handful of movies that have had an impact on my life. I recall wanting to learn more about autism after watching Rain Man, and I had a sickening feeling for days after watching Schindler’s List. But no movie has had as much impact on my life as American Beauty. It’s my all-time favorite movie.

I’ve thought about writing this blog post for a long time but never had the guts to start it. I figured it was a bit too personal and that nobody else would care what I thought of some movie or how it drove me to make changes in my life. I’ve told very few people about what I’m about to write, and I’m not proud of how I handled certain parts of this experience. Yet it’s something I think back to often, and it’s shaped how I view my work and my family.

Back in 1999, I moved into a job I thought would be challenging and rewarding. It came with promises of responsibility, advancement, and rewards. But I soon realized that it was none of the above. I had several job opportunities at the time, but I selected this position because I was told it wouldn’t require as much travel as the others. Plus, my manager seemed nice enough, and the group was one of the largest, most stable at the company. It seemed like an ideal situation for me at the time.

Sometimes when emotions run high, I fail to notice the red flags. They might have been small flags but they were there from the start. The first red flag came when my travel increased over my last position. I hadn’t been married long, and Kim and I wanted to start a family soon. The idea of being away from home for days on end was not what I was after. Another red flag came when I realized one of my closest friends left the group to join another. One of my biggest regrets is the fact that I didn’t listen to him well enough when we met for lunch. All the signs were there though, and I failed to take them seriously. Maybe I didn’t want to see them.

I worked for a self-absorbed jerk. We called him a “volunteer” because he owned enough Microsoft stock to retire a millionaire many times over. This guy had no life. He arrived at work before anyone else and stayed long after everyone had gone home. And he let everyone within earshot know. He was a miserable person to be around, and those who reported to him closed their doors and tried to go about their business in a fashion that would avoid his wrath. Each morning I’d arrive at work around 7:30 am. My office was on the third floor. I could take the elevator or the stairs. Which choice would take longer? I’d slog my way up three flights of stairs as slowly as humanly possible. With each step, my stomach would turn into a tighter knot. Step after grueling step. When I finally reached the top, I could almost puke. The hours at work felt like days. I couldn’t enjoy my weekends because I was thinking about how come Monday morning, my hell would return.

One summer afternoon, my manager came into my office and demanded I travel with him to help prep for a presentation. I stayed up all night preparing slides and helping him understand the product and how it would benefit the attendees. The next morning he gave the talk. It was clear that he didn’t feel it went over very well. I’m sure part of that was due to the last minute preparation, but he made it clear that he was done speaking at these small events, and that I’d be called on to handle the next one. Although I stayed up all night to help him prepare for a talk he committed to, and yet I felt like I had screwed up. No matter what I did, I felt I was making the wrong decision.

I felt very alone at this time. Kim was the only person I could talk to, but I didn’t want her to worry about my job.  I wasn’t supposed to complain because I worked for one of the largest, most successful companies in the world. A company that turned away thousands of talented people each month. Most would do anything to get a foot in the door. Who was I to complain? I carried a lot of self-doubt around, wondering why I wasn’t happy with my job and my boss. My life didn’t suck. Only the place where I spent 10 hours of my day sucked.

That’s how I felt as I walked around Disney World. I was so tired, yet I felt maybe a movie would take my mind off my predicament. It just seemed wrong to be depressed in the land of Mickey, Goofy and Pluto. So I made my way over to the theater and bought a ticket to American Beauty. I’d seen the trailer and figured it was worth a shot. I bought a Coke and popcorn and sat near the back of a nearly full theater.

As I watched the movie, I was stunned at how much I related to Kevin Spacey’s character, Lester Burnham. especially the scenes where he was dealing with a job he hated and how it affected his self-esteem and relationships. Some parts are painful to watch, yet many hit me like a violent crowbar to the chest. I sat there in my seat absolutely transfixed to the screen. I felt like I was watching a mini film that covered sections of my life.

“I feel like I’ve been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I’m just now waking up.”

When the movie came to an end I sat there for at least ten minutes and thought about my job. I was pissed off at the toll it was taking on my life. I grew up in a family where my father worked as a school teacher for 30 years and subsidized his income as a coach and driver’s ed instructor during the school year. He also managed a large public swimming pool in the summer. I don’t recall him complaining about his job and, until I saw American Beauty, I figured it was just a sign of weakness to complain about mine which was a piece of cake compared to those my father held.

Although the movie isn’t the most cheery, it was uplifting to me because it gave me hope that I could get out of the situation I was in. I didn’t have to continue climbing the stairs to a job that made me sick. I didn’t have to take the abuse this manager dished out on a daily basis. So I decided to talk to my boss when I returned from Orlando and explain to him how I felt and the changes (less travel) that needed to occur so that I could enjoy my job. At least that’s what I thought would happen. Yet a quick meeting with him convinced me nothing was going to change. So I did something I’ve never done before in my life:

I WALKED AWAY FROM THE JOB

I didn’t wait around, clinging to the belief that things would change. I didn’t notify HR of the abuse (something I regret). I didn’t offer to work another two weeks in the same environment. I came into the office one night and packed up my belongings and emailed my manager that I wouldn’t be returning. He was shocked and forwarded my email to HR who called me the next day and asked me to reconsider my decision. They asked what had made me leave so suddenly, but I couldn’t say, “Oh, I saw a movie that inspired me to quit”. They offered to hook me up with another group, but I’d made up my mind that I needed to fully remove myself from that environment. It was toxic.

“It’s a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.” 

That was nearly nine years ago. I know I made the right decision to leave. I wasn’t happy and the daily dread was taking a toll on the relationships that matter most in my life. I’m glad I didn’t “suck it up” to the point where I became unbearable to live with at home. I’m glad I didn’t change my style to fit that of a company built on internal competition that thrives on pitting employees against each other. There are those who are adept at playing that game and can separate it from their family and friends. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t treat people at work like crap and then turn around and be this kind person to my friends and family. I felt my only choice was to remove myself from that caustic environment.

I’m happy I did just that.

 

5 Things I Suck At

It was difficult culling this list down to five. It could have been the 55 things I suck at, but hey, that would just be running up the score now wouldn’t it?

  1. Car Repair – I just wasn’t born with the gene which is so unmanly. I’m not only uncomfortable working on my cars, I’m downright scared that I’ll do something will cause all four tires to come off at the same time. The service manager at Hinshaw Honda tried to explain how they replaced the transmission and, for all I know, he was speaking Mandarin Chinese. I had to stop him and ask, “Will it just freaking start when I turn the key?”
  2. Plumbing – If I even mention fixing something plumbing related I’m quite sure Kim will go running from the house with kids and dog in hand. That’s what it’s come to given my history of plumbing repairs gone very wrong. There are too many greatest hits to choose from here but one that stands out is a repair I attempted on a Sunday afternoon. I ended up twisting a pipe in half that resided in a wall costing us over $400 for an emergency weekend (read overtime rates) repair.
  3. Card Games – I doubt Kim would have married me if she’d known beforehand how badly I suck at card games. Kim is a pro at these games which makes me look even worse. But it’s really embarrassing getting skunked by my two kids, ages 6 and 5, when I can change the rules to compensate for my lack of skill and downright cheat for good portions of the game yet still end up in last place.
  4. Programming my Sprinkler System – I’m kind of surprised video of my sprinklers hasn’t shown up on YouTube. Remember that cool video of that guy’s house with the Christmas lights set to music? So just imagine that but substitute my sprinklers set to the music of Guns ‘N Roses while good drugs were still available and you have my house during the summer months. I have not the slightest idea how to set my sprinklers. I’ve read the instructions at least 75 times since we moved into this house, yet each time I’m certain I’ve figured it out, a sprinkler from the backyard will turn on for 3 minutes at 4 am while two more in the front come to life in the middle of the afternoon. I’m convinced they are possessed.
  5. Reading – I have to qualify this by saying that I can, in fact, read quite well and I comprehend what I read. But I might be the planet’s slowest reader. Kim will read four books to my one. I might as well buy books instead of checking them out from the library because, by the time I finish, my late fees would exceed the cost of the book. I’d gladly trade a few of my talents in order to read at a faster clip. I subscribe to over 20 magazine and a lot of trade articles for my job, yet my reading speed hasn’t increase since about…oh…2nd grade.

The Toddler Train

The week we visited family in Utah, we went to this fun kids museum called the Tree House located near the LDS Temple in downtown Ogden. Our kids had a lot of fun playing in each of the different areas. One area had a small classroom setup and the kids took turns playing the teacher or student. Another area had a small fire engine where the kids could dress up in firefighter uniforms and sit up high on the engine and ring a bell and turn the big steering wheel.

But their favorite area of the Tree House was a semi-enclosed area full of these large foam shapes. The kids jumped on them and tossed them at each other until one of them noticed this sign:

toddlertrain

I didn’t think a bunch of kids ages 2-6 could put this train together. But they gathered up all the different shapes and started from the front of the train and moved down the line, carefully making sure each piece was a perfect fit.

The biggest challenge was keeping a few of the smaller kids from sitting on the front of the train making the whole thing unstable. I was surprised how well the kids worked together and the train was assembled with only one temper tantrum thrown.

I’d like a home large enough to have something like this train around. It was a nice break from the video and computer games. It was fun to see them work together as some of the larger blocks took two or more kids to move into place.

The good, bad and ugly of new computer setup

While visiting my parents the past couple of weeks, my father purchased a new computer at Costco. He purchased an HP Pavilion with a 24-inch LCD monitor.  I had about a week to get it setup for him and here are my observations.

The Good:

  1. A lot of computer for the price and the 24-inch monitor is gorgeous.
  2. Excellent documentation.
  3. Reached HP Technical Support in under three minutes
  4. Core 2 Duo chip is sweet. It’s a very fast machine.
  5. HP didn’t pre-load it with too much crapware.
  6. For the most part, Vista wasn’t too annoying when UAC was off.
  7. Very well built black case that’s easy to open because HP was smart to include finger screws.
  8. Clean and organized internals including good cable management.
  9. The computer is dead silent. No loud fans at all.
  10. System restore was easy to find, understand and fast to perform.

The Bad:

  1. Onboard sound didn’t work. MP3s cracked and hissed.
  2. Monitor stand takes some time to get used to, but it adjusts in many directions making it easy to find the right height.
  3. Vista with UAC turned on is a terrible experience. Turn it off under USERS in Control Panel.
  4. USB ports on monitor could be easier to reach.
  5. Symantec suite of products tries to take over your system. It’s nearly as bad as Real products. At least it’s easy to uninstall.
  6. HP Printers still have sketchy Vista support. One of my dad’s printers required a fairly complex workaround.
  7. iTunes and Vista don’t play well together. When my mom’s Shuffle was connected, messages would pop up every few minutes asking to scan and fix the iPod’s drive. I ran into the same problem when I ran Vista.

The Ugly:

  1. The onboard sound didn’t work from day one so I called HP technical support and was told I’d have to perform a system restore before they would dispatch a tech to the house. I did that but when they called to talk to my dad, they told him they would only come to the house if he paid $181 for a 2-year extended warranty.

Overall, the experience of purchasing and setting up a new computer is much better than it was even five years ago. Running Windows Update found about 10 software and driver updates which seemed like a bit much but it’s good to see that Vista ran quite well on new HP hardware. I would not recommend Vista to those who want to upgrade current machines from XP, but getting a new machine with Vista was a better experience.

I’m bummed that the sound doesn’t work on this computer and I’m angry that my dad got taken advantage of by some punk at HP. My dad had tossed the boxes or we would have just returned it all to Costco and asked for a new system. Lesson learned.

But to keep things in perspective, the computer is much faster than his older system I built him about 4 years ago. It’s much more quiet too. I think he’ll enjoy the way Vista handles pictures and other media files. He also seems to like Outlook 2007 along with the other Office 2007 applications. A HP technician is coming to his home on Thursday to fix the sound problem which will likely require swapping the motherboard.

Hopefully, he’ll be up and running with sound shortly. I wonder if Costco knows or cares how HP technical support is taking advantage of customers who bought machines with a clear defect? I think they would and should care.

Tribute I gave at Grandma’s funeral

One of my earliest and fondest memories of Grandma was the time I convinced my parents to allow me to spend the night at her house. I would have been 7 or 8 years old. This was at a time when Grandma taught 2nd grade at Centerville Elementary and she brought me along to her classroom the next morning. I assumed I’d just sit at her desk and doodle away until recess. But I knew the day wasn’t going to be only fun and games when she assigned me a desk, gave me a pencil and expected me to follow along with her class.

For as long as I remember, Grandma shared stories with me about how my grandfather, my uncle John and my own father had all earned degrees from the University of Utah. Even at this early age she made sure I understood the importance of a good education. This left such a strong impression with me that I knew early on that I would graduate from the U. I had no choice but to keep the family tradition alive.

Grandma worried about every possible detail while taking care of others before herself. I can picture my Grandpa sitting in his big Lay-Z-Boy chair in the basement watching All in the Family while Grandma, perched atop the stairs, would call for him to come upstairs for dinner. When Grandpa finally made it to the table grandma would say, “Hey Nordy what took you so long?” To this day, I think of Grandma each time I hear that show’s theme song. Like Edith Bunker, she appeared a bit frazzled, occasionally at a loss for words, yet she always pulled off a successful family gathering in the face of long odds.

During the warm Utah summers before I had my driver’s license, my father would drive me to the Ogden bus depot where I’d catch a bus to Bountiful. The bus would drop me off a mile or so from Grandma’s house from which I’d sprint the entire stretch so I could quickly get started mowing the lawn. One afternoon as I was finishing up, a neighbor approached grandpa and gave him the name of a young neighbor boy who cut lawns. Before grandpa could reply, grandma chimed in with, “Our grass just looks better when it’s been cut by our grandson”. That put an end to the discussion. Once the grass was clipped and bagged, I’d kick back in the shade off her back porch where I could shoot the breeze with my grandparents. These were some of the best times because I didn’t have to share the stage with anyone else. The occasion was made even more special when Grandma would retreat to her basement and bring back a bottle of Coca Cola for me to sip on, something that wasn’t allowed at home. I felt like a little rebel. My grandparents would take turns peppering me with questions: Grandpa wanted to talk sports while Grandma would interject questions about how my studies were coming along. She never missed an opportunity to talk about education.

Visiting grandma’s house was exciting primarily because it provided curious if sometimes questionable activities I wasn’t allowed to take part in at home. A few of these activities include using the outside clothes line as a fire pole, attempting to clear the prickly shrubs by jumping off the front porch, and double-daring my sisters to go into the downstairs laundry room without adult supervision. The test was to see if one of us could make it far enough into the laundry room to spot the wooden washboard that looked like something seen from Little House on the Prairie. But most of the time we’d chicken out and only make it as far as the snow blower before retreating to safer ground.

Grandma also had a way of warning us kids about the big green exercise machine that crouched downstairs. It was more electronic bull than exercise device and we couldn’t wait to see who could stay on it for the longest amount of time. The way in which Grandma warned us about it, made it that much more mysterious if also a bit dangerous. It was just too tempting to pass up. My sister Jana would volunteer to ride it first but only if I promised to keep it on the slowest setting. Once she was on, I’d crank the dial up as high as it would go and Jana would scream as she tried to keep from falling off. The fun would end when one of two things would happen: Grandma would hear the screams from upstairs and come running to unplug the thing or Jana would get tossed off the green bull and onto the little space heater that glowed bright orange.

As I moved into high school and became more involved in athletics, I could count on Grandma and Grandpa attending most games. I recall several games where just looking into the stands and seeing my grandma smile back at me would calm my nerves. Yet even when I didn’t perform well, she’d tell me how much she enjoyed the game and how well I played. The ability to see the good in any situation must be a requirement to becoming a Grandma.

Grandma was a very frugal person. I recall going to four different grocery stores with her one Saturday morning because each store had a type of fruit or vegetable on sale. It didn’t seem economical to travel across town to save 8 cents on a pound of seedless grapes but, to Grandma; it wasn’t just about the savings: it was a matter of principle.

Another time I arrived at grandma’s house and noticed a stack of postage stamps on her kitchen table. Each stamp had a small white backdrop and I asked grandma about this. She explained that occasionally the post office wouldn’t cancel the stamp and she was merely rescuing a number of perfectly good stamps by cutting them off the envelopes and then gluing them on to outbound letters.

And the family is still amazed that one year, Grandma was able to purchase her Thanksgiving dinner with the all the trimming at the same store she purchased her Thanksgiving outfit, a feat nobody thought possible until Grandma pulled it off.

Because I’ve lived outside of Utah for the better part of 13 years now, I’ve not has as many opportunities to visit with her. But last week after hearing of her deteriorating condition, I decided to drive my family down from Seattle to visit. She was able to speak and hold the hand of our three oldest children and lay next to Kai, our 2 month old baby boy. I consider it a mini-miracle that she had the strength and state of mind to do this the night before she passed away. I’m glad my family was able to share that time with her and I know she’s in a place where she’s no longer in pain.

When I think of Grandma Nordquist, I’ll remember our chats on the back porch, the Life Saver Candy books she gave me each Christmas and the warm smiles she gave me during all those games. But I know she’s in a better place now. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the tables were now turned when she was reunited her companion and it’s now Grandpa who says, “Hey Edith, what took you so long?”

Rental Car frustrations

Renting a car wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to talk to anyone at the rental company. But there’s no way around this unless I have a Hertz Gold Card or the like. Or so I thought!

Now reserving a car was a piece of cake from the Hertz website. I liked that they didn’t require I give them my credit card number in order to make a reservation, and they even gave me the Hastings Direct contact number, their insurance provider – something they’d deal with but gave me the courtesy of being informed about.

So I reserved a car last week and then arrived in Salt Lake assuming I’d quickly be on my way to Ogden. No such luck. I waited about 30 minutes at the Hertz counter before making my way to the front of the line. Just as I was about to be helped a string of Gold Club members approached the desk and just waltz up ahead of me. One guy approached the counter and then proceeded to argue with the Hertz employee over whether or not his wife should be added to the rental agreement. I figured Gold Card members could head right out to a waiting car.

Once the rush of Gold Card members subsided, the counter person had nobody else to help but us low lifers in the loser line. I approached the counter, gave the lady my name and American Express Card. And then you know the drill from here. She tried to sell me:

  1. Three different types of insurance
  2. A larger car upgrade
  3. GPS upgrade
  4. Two tank filling options

When I told her “No to all” she said, “Well, I have to go through them all. It’s my job“. I guess her “job” is to ignore me or act like she didn’t hear what I said. This is the part I hate about renting a car.

Tip to Car Rental Companies: Stop gouging for filling the tank full of gas. Hertz charged an absurd $7.40/gallon  last week. Is it too much to ask to figure out the average amount of gas you need to fill each car and then BUILD THAT INTO THE RENTAL COST? I shouldn’t have to worry about finding a gas station close to the Salt Lake airport and you shouldn’t use this opportunity pad pad your pockets.

One other thing: Is it possible to actually drive away in the car you confirmed I reserved? It seems like every time I rent a “compact” model of car (a Toyota Corolla this time around) you never have that model or class in stock. You then try to rent me a larger car because of YOUR mistake. Last week I drove away in a Ford Mustang which was sort of cool except the seats are about 2 inches off the ground. But the teen working the Hogi Yogi drive-thru thought it was “rad”.

I’ve got good and bad news for my friend who loves Mustangs. This 2008 model was fast off the line and had a cool retro interior. But it’s not in the same league as my BMW when it comes to how it handles corners and overall balance. The Mustang was a fun weekend fling. But the BMW is the one you want in your garage.