Over the past couple of weeks I’ve received customer service ranging from very good to very bad. Here are a few that come to mind:

BMW of Bellevue – I needed a turn signal bulb so I visited the service department at BMW of Bellevue. I spoke with a man at the service desk who said the light I needed was $2. I told him I’d take one and he rang up my purchase. He then took a small paper bag and put 5 lights in it and said, “Consider those spares. They will save you a trip next time”.

Hanna Andersson– Two very different experiences at two stores. We visited the outlet store in Woodinville looking for coats for next winter. A size we needed wasn’t available, but an employee called the Portland store, and the coat in the correct size was shipped to us overnight for $10. The next week I went to the Hanna Andersson store in University Village looking for a dress for Luca’s baptism. I walked to the counter where an employee was ringing up a customer. Another employee stood to the side folding shirts. I wasn’t carrying anything and it should have been clear that I had a question. But she continued to fold shirts for nearly 10 minutes, never once asking if she could help me.

Verizon Wireless – Experience tells me that I’d rather have a root canal than deal with a cell phone company. I’ll save the details of my experience with Sprint for another blog, but needless to say, I will never give Sprint another dime. Avoid them at all costs. But two weeks ago I called to cancel our two lines with Verizon Wireless. I was expecting a painful process where I was transferred from one person to the next. But, to my surprise, the first person who answered was able to cancel my account in a polite and efficient manner without the usual run-around. Verizon valued my time and didn’t insult me by saying their computers were down like Sprint did a few years ago. I have no problem recommending Verizon, and would consider going back to them if I have problems with AT&T.

The Pearl – This is a fancy but reasonably priced restaurant located in Lincoln Square in Bellevue. A friend and I wandered in for lunch last week and were met by a friendly hostess. She seated us, and for the next hour we were treated to some of the best salmon I’ve ever had. And yet their prices (at least for lunch) were very reasonable. The service was stellar. Our waitress was there when we needed but didn’t bother us by interrupting our discussion every five minutes. When she heard my friend worked at Lincoln Square she took 20% off the bill. Highly recommended.

DirecTV – I would not want to watch TV without my dual tuner DirecTivo. And when I can’t find anything on TV, I’ll browse through the PPV movies. I’ll usually find one or two to purchase and record to watch later. The key was that I was able to record movies to watch at a later date. The movie was there at the time we wanted to watch. But DirecTV has made a major change to their PPV service. Now each movie must be watched within 24 hours of purchase or DirecTV sends a signal to your DVR which erases the movie! On top of this absurdity, they raised the price of PPV movies from $3.99 to $4.99. This is a knucklehead move on the part of DirecTV. I’ve gone from purchasing a few movies each month to not purchasing any. How is this a smart business move?

Kent Commons – I’ve been playing basketball at the Kent Commons a few mornings each week. Unlike some gyms that won’t let you past the front desk without paying (Yes, you Pro Club and your $18 guest fee), the commons operates on the honor system. A group of us meet in the gym and play for nearly two hours. We then pool our money and pay on the way out. Makes the place feel the quintessential small town community center.

There was a time when brick and mortar retailers held most of the cards. If I wanted a Sony Walkman, I could choose between a number of local electronics stores. Mail order was an option as well but not nearly as mainstream.

That was then.

Today we have seemingly limitless options. If I’m looking for a specific video camera like I was last week, there are hundreds of online retailers ready to take my Visa. I have local options as well although they are diminishing each month it seems.

But I enjoy buying local and will pay a bit more to do so. By supporting local shops I keep another option open even if the price is a little higher and their selection isn’t as expansive.

So last week I decided to surprise Kim with a Flip Mino for Valentines. I went to the local Best Buy. I found the video camera display after making my way through a maze of Xbox bundles, racks of DVDs and rows of cell phone accessories only a teenager could appreciate.

They had a number of video cameras but not the Flip Mino HD model I was after. I looked around for a sales associate, but the two I could find were helping other customers. So I waited.

And waited.

Finally a young man from the Apple iPod area approached me. He seemed sure they carried the model I wanted, but didn’t have keys to check. Keys to what? I didn’t ask.

He asked me to wait a little longer for the man with the keys which I did. After a few minutes, I was speaking with the associate who knew a lot about the Flip Mino. He told me they had the HD model in stock but it wasn’t out on the floor nor was it on the display table for me to test.

So I’m nearly 25 minutes into a visit that should take 10 only to find out that I can’t handle or test the product I’m looking to purchase thereby removing a major reason I decided to drive to the store in the first place.

The associate said he’d retrieve the Mino HD from the back room if I was interested in buying it. Huh? What if I just wanted to hold it? Maybe even test it! This isn’t a rare BMW M3 I’m looking to buy here. Why wouldn’t this employee get the camera in my hand AS SOON AS POSSIBLE? This is Retail 101. Get the product in the customers hands! This is one of the few benefits retailers have over online stores. We know they usually can’t compete on price or selection. But they can refine the sales process and make up for those weaknesses by providing excellent service. Nordstrom understands this. So does Starbucks and the Apple Store.

Before I could ask this young man to retrieve an HD Mino from the now mystical and very locked back closet, he launched into a spiel about the extended warranty Best Buy offers on this camera. I haven’t seen the camera. I’ve not held it. Yet he’s trying to upsell me on a warranty.

I gave up. I couldn’t take it any longer.

And I walked out of the store minus the camera.

This weekend, I found the camera at B & H  for forty bucks less. Took me a whole two minutes to purchase. No waiting. No spiel. No BS.

Maybe there’s still room for local electronics retailers. But unless they can decrease the grief to helpfulness ratio, they have no chance to earn my business.

In September our family visited Disneyland. I spent a lot of time waiting in lines only to be shuffled away on some ride I knew nothing about. Half the time I didn’t know whether I was supposed to be frightened or amused. Someone else was in control and I was merely along for the ride.

That’s how I feel when go in for a haircut. 

I don’t know when I stopped having input in how my hair was cut, but it’s been a while. When I was a young boy, my dad would take me to the barber. I hated going to the barber because his goal was to make my head feel naked. He’d pull out the clippers and buzz around my head as if I were joining the Marines that day. During the winter it was cut short. During the summer it was cut shorter. All I wanted was for the back to grow out just enough that it would curl.

Then I’d be cool.

Like Andy Gibb.

The old metal clippers were loud and vibrated so violently that I felt I was seconds away from having my ears cut off. The only part I enjoyed was the end when he’d suck all the hair off my head with a powerful vacuum. Sometimes he’d stick the nozzle down my back to remove the hair that made its way down my shirt. It tickled like crazy!

But getting a bad haircut as a kid is a rite of passage.

One might assume that when I got to the age where I was paying for my own haircuts my influence would increase.

It hasn’t.

Take my haircut last week for example. I sat in a cushy black chair while the stylist placed a plastic tarmac over my head before she wrapped a layer of fine sandpaper around my neck. Then, as she grabbed the scissors from the beaker of lime Kool-Aid, she casually asked, “How would you like your hair cut?”

But she’s only half listening. In fact, she’s already started trimming a little off the top before I can say anything. “Maybe an inch off the top with a number 4 clipper around the sides and back”, I reply.

She nods. I act like she’s listening. But I know she’s taking my words about as seriously as when I’d ask my mom if I could take our Plymouth Duster out for a spin when I was 14 years old.

Maybe I’m not all that particular when it comes to getting my hair cut. I’m usually satisfied with how my hair looks, and I base my tip on how relaxed I feel during the shampoo. A few months ago the stylist shampooed my hair twice, worked in a  conditioner that didn’t leave me smelling like I bought cologne at the 7-11 and gave me a scalp massage. She earned a nice tip for her efforts.

Oh well.

Next time I go in, I’m going to tell the stylist, “Just make me look handsome”.

Picture taken by Pancho

Luca set her hot chocolate on the counter. I did the same with my gum. I pulled out my wallet, found a crisp new $5 bill and handed it to the clerk. Instead of making change he looked at it for a few seconds over an open till. 

He reminded me of the forensic detectives on CSI. Did he think I’d given him a counterfeit fiver or was he looking for trace evidence?

After staring at it for a few seconds he took a couple steps backward into better light. Then he held the bill at arms length towards the light rocking it from side to side.

The lady in back of me whispered, “Do they see a lot of fake fives?”

Maybe not but the clerk still wasn’t satisfied. He turned the bill over and inspected it for a few seconds. At this point I wondered if I was going to leave the store with my daughter’s hot chocolate and my Trident “Splash” Strawberry Lime gum. You know that kind that squirts when you bite it? Oh yes, it’s as good as it sounds.

A few more customers joined the line and, when I turned around, they all stared at me. I wanted to say, “I’m not a CRIMINAL!!”

If I were going to print up a sheet full of counterfeit bills, I wouldn’t risk prison time pumping out Lincolns.

No way. I wouldn’t waste ink on anything less than a Jackson.

Just as I was about to say, “Is there a problem?” the clerk gently placed the five dollar bill in the till and counted my change back to me.

Next time it’s Visa all the way.