Goodbye, Auburn WA

Less than twelve hours from now, we’ll be on our way to Utah.

Over the past twenty-four hours we’ve been surrounded by friends and neighbors who have stopped by to wish us well or help pack or drop off cookies for the long drive ahead.

It’s sad to leave close friends, yet there’s a solace knowing I will see many of them again, if only through Facebook. I’ve moved around enough to know that friends come and go, but it’s been difficult explaining that to my 12-year old daughter who could very well run away before we leave, and it wouldn’t surprise me. With yesterday being her last day of school in Auburn she decided to get off the bus early and hide away at her friend’s house.

One benefit of moving is the ability to make a new start in a new area. We start a new segment of our life in a gorgeous area of Utah starting tomorrow. As far as know all the teachers at our kid’s schools are excellent, each neighbor is caring and our new church congregation will welcome our family of seven with open arms. Sometimes a computer needs a fresh Windows install to get back in its groove. I hope our family can find its groove in a new city.

It’s an odd feeling to stand back from a moving truck and know everything you own is inside. I’m not sure why we decide to hold on to much of it. Maybe the boxes of old books and picture frames remind us where we’ve been and help bridge the past to the future.

That the past two days have brought near constant rain showers seems fitting. I wouldn’t have it any other way, because just over 17 years ago I drove a U-Haul into downtown Seattle on a miserably cold and rainy evening with this song blaring on the radio.

Here’s to the future.

A Week Left

I had a lot of time to slow down and think this past week as I packed box after box in preparation for our move next week. A number of items were still in the same box from our last move over seven years ago. I’m at a loss to explain why I held on to a number of items including a broken VCR and DVD player. I tossed both in the trash and moved on.

We arrived in Auburn in 2005. Or I should I say, I arrived in Auburn and bought our current home while Kim and the kids were still in Utah. That’s not a decision I would recommend to anyone, regardless of how many pictures you take and send. But overall the home has worked well for us. We arrived as a family of five and will be leaving as a family of seven minus one boxer.

But one thought I had today was how blessed I have been to have lived in the Seattle area for 17 of the past 18 years. A number of events had to line up  to get and keep me here including taking a job in Wyoming, going through a divorce, and meeting Kim in Las Vegas. I hope my children have a chance to live away from the area where they were raised. I believe that moving outside your comfort zone and familiar surroundings can make a person stronger in many aspects.

I can’t imagine living in the same area or home for 20 or 30 years. Not that I want to uproot my children from their schools and friends, but I want them to have some of the same experiences I value such as making new friends and seeing different areas of our country. Ideally, I’d like to move to a different area of the country every four or five years.

I’m certain my family could be happy living in many states. But we know we like the weather and slower pace of southern Utah.  Our children are at ages that match up well with with cousins whom they will be able to see often. And Kim’s parents are close-by as well so the kids will be able to spend a lot of time with their grandparents. Both my mother and my mother-in-law have health issues that prevent them from doing much travel so it will be nice to be closer to both of them.

In just over a week we’ll be making our way through parts of Washington, Oregon, Idaho and then on in to Utah.  I hope as many good memories are ahead of us as those we’ve made here.

Cleaning the Closet

In preparation for our move to Utah next week, I began packing the clothing I had hanging in my closet in to large trash bags. It is an odd feeling taking pants and shirt off hangers, looking at them, and asking yourself, “What was I thinking when I bought this?”

I filled a box full of shoes. I said good-bye to a pair of Born shoes and several pairs of Birkenstocks that have overstayed their welcome by at least five years. I packed up a handful of silk ties that I seldom wear anymore and a few belts that are a couple of inches too short. 

I pulled three nearly new sweaters off hangers and folded them nicely before realizing that I hate sweaters and can’t imagine wearing them in Utah. Good riddance!

Eventually I had three large garbage bags full of shirts and pants and a large box full of shoes. I could put them on the moving truck next week, and then unpack them in Utah where I’m sure they would remain until we moved again.

Or I could pull out the Ralph Lauren shirts I barely wore and put them on eBay.

In the end I decided to place it in the garage and donate it to charity. I want a fresh start. Today my closet consists of a few shirts and pairs of pants, one belt and four pairs of shoes. Deciding what to wear to work takes no time.

I’m looking forward to organizing more parts of my life and paring back to the essentials. Getting rid of outdated clothing is easier than replacing bad habits with good habits, but that’s what I need to do. Too much clutter results in slower decision making.

I’d better get moving before Kim spots the bags in the garage and tries to sneak stuff back in my closet.

Flat Tire

As I coasted down the hill I could tell something was wrong. Rain was dripping off the hood of my jacket and onto my face making it difficult to see ahead and ensuring all my concentration was focused on keeping my bike on the road and out of the ditch.

I applied the breaks slowly as to not spin out and drifted through the green light before I could pull over to the side of the road and inspect the damage. I assumed I had a flat tire, and I was right. The wind picked up and the rain continued to come down as cars sped by me. 2012-10-26 12.09.45

I called Kim to come get me and take me to work since I was already running late and had no time to repair the tire.

And then I waited.

I was disappointed, cold and grumpy. It seems like I’ve had 8-10 flat tires since I began riding about a year ago, which is probably normal given the route I take to work includes several high traffic roads and an overpass with lots of debris off to the side of the road. I try to avoid it as best I can, but that’s not always possible.

Kim would have to get Taran and Kai ready before coming to get me, and that takes time. I was getting colder and more grumpy by the minute. When Kim arrived, I noticed she’d packed dry clothing for me. That’s what I said something stupid:

“I wish you had just come instead of take the time to gather my stuff.”

Just two years ago I was spending 12 to 15 hours a week commuting to Redmond to a job I couldn’t stand. Today I work for a company I love, working alongside great people, doing a job I enjoy. Not only that but I can bike the six miles to work each day instead of spending two days worth of work in traffic each week.

I came home from work last night and cleaned off my bike and replaced the tube. Today I rode home from work in one of the better rain storm we’ve had in a while. I must have been lugging an extra 5 lbs. worth of water as I removed my rain jacket and pants and tossed them in the dryer.

My perspective had changed since I made an insensitive remark. I wish it hadn’t taken a full day to realize my mistake. Maybe next time it won’t.

Next month I’ll be riding around the streets of Ivins, Utah.

I think I’ll miss the occasional rain storms and my friends but I hope I’ll have fewer flat tires than I do today.

Shopping for Car Insurance

Your company’s website matters. In fact it matters a lot, and can be the difference between winning or losing a customer.

Tonight I sat down at my computer to research car insurance, since I need specific SR22 non owner insurance. I searched sites like Forbes, Edmunds and J.D. Power to narrow down my choices to the highest rated companies.  Then I visited each company to request a quote, and this is where things began to fall apart for most companies.

Years ago you had to speak with an agent in order to get a quote, and some companies still believe in this model because they provide only a soft quote. The policy must be reviewed, or I have to wait for an email or call before my policy can be finalized.

Don’t waste my time.

That attitude might have flown in 90’s, but not today. I know exactly what type and amount of coverage I need for the two cars we own. I don’t want to wait around for someone to call me. I want to get a quote, schedule coverage and pay for it. With as little hassle as possible.

I’m hesitant to recommend any companies, but I know people are going to ask me what company I eventually selected. Before I get to that I was perfectly happy with my previous insurance company, Response Insurance. They embraced the idea of interacting with them online years before others got their act together. I filed three or four small claims with them online and was impressed with their level of service each time.

I would have stayed with Response had they not been bought by Kemper Direct who decided a good way to keep me as a customer was to “customize” my policy that resulted in nearly doubling my rates for, what I could tell, was the same coverage I had with Response.

As for my recommendations: If you or anyone in your family is or was in the military, go with USAA and be done with it. Everyone I talk to loves this company and it’s at or near the top of every rating I came across. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an option for me.

I also recommend looking at Amica Mutual and Erie Insurance, although Erie is only available in a few eastern states. Both scored consistently high in most reviews. A Forbes review said “Most companies try to find a way out of paying a claim but these two companies try to find ways to pay your claim.”

I ended up going with The Hartford. I didn’t know it at the time but they rate #1 in J.D. Power’s “Auto Insurance Purchase Experience”, and it’s easy to see why. Their website is clean and easy to navigate. I love how they use DMV records to pull in the details on the cars I own as well as the registered drivers of those cars into their quote system. That’s just slick.

I was able to select exactly the coverage I wanted on the date I wanted and pay for it immediately. They offer a number of payment options as well. Within minutes I was able to login to my account and review my coverage. They were not the least expensive option, but that wasn’t my only focus.

I’m starting to sound like the Hartford paid me to write this review so I’ll shut it down.

The Hartford won my business by embracing tech savvy car insurance shoppers instead of forcing me into the old agent/insured model.

Balanced Conversation

Passing through Utah the over the past week I’ve been able to meet up with a number of friends and family.

Some friends are closer than others. A few prefer to speak in person rather than over the phone or Facebook. With some we discuss the same topics we have for years: work, sports or the weather. Yet we seldom drive deep into anything too deep or personal.

But I noticed something in common with those I’m closest too and have the most meaningful conversation: a near 50% balance of speaking and listening.

This seems obvious. A conversation isn’t one person speaking to another for an hour. A balance of listening and sharing comes naturally with some friends while more effort is required with others.

I wonder what my children would say the balance is when we get together? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer, but maybe that’s exactly what I need to hear.

Skating On Thin Ice

Lately I’ve felt overwhelmed.

I’ve felt this way before, but it was usually one part of my life I could pause or get rid of. When I felt overwhelmed in college I scaled back the credit hours the next quarter. A decade ago I walked away from a job that was taking a toll on my relationships and making me sick. At times, I’ve reduced the number of church or school activities we commit to and stuck close to home for a while until the feeling subsided.

This is the first time I can recall where everything feels overwhelming to the point that I don’t feel I’m doing anything very well and some things quite poorly.

Work is the lone bright spot, and one that’s not entirely easy to control. So I don’t take this for granted.

But nearly every other area of my life feels like the first time I stood up on ice skates; I’m moving, but have no control over my speed or direction and I know eventually I’m going to crash into someone.

I listen to talks at church about what I’m expected to teach my children, provide for my family while maintaining  a strong bond with my spouse. But it often feels like the activities and meetings and then more meeting keep us from spending much time together on the one day of the week set aside to do so. Church is starting to feel like a weekly reminder of everything I’m not doing well.

But it’s not only church that provides a reminder.

Last week Anna forgot her lunch so I rode my bike to her school to drop it off. As I walked into her class, her teacher yelled across the room, “Hey, you forgot this morning was Donuts with your Daughter”.

Here I thought I was doing well to get up at 6 am to get my oldest daughter off to school, returning to make lunches for two more kids before getting our five-year old off to pre-school. And I have the easy part because I know Kim has been up several times throughout the night to feed and comfort our baby.

I used to stay up late to get things done I couldn’t get to during the day. And that worked well when I was single and was even passable before I married a night owl. But it doesn’t work well today, and without a Diet Coke run to the car between church meetings, I’d be fast asleep on the foyer couch by Priesthood.

I forgot I was supposed to help clean the church today. Maybe after I listen to this Mark Knopfler tune one more time. I dunno. 

I’d better learn to skate. Or stay off the ice.

A Spectacular Move

Although I had homework to do it was the NBA finals and Tivo hadn’t been invented yet. So I ran home from University of Utah library just in time to catch Michael Jordan the Bulls take on Magic and the Lakers.

I did own a VCR in which I put a blank tape in and hit record before settling down on my couch. The game wasn’t all that interesting except the Lakers had shocked the Bulls taking game 1 in Chicago putting the pressure on the Bulls to win game 2 given the next three games would be played in Los Angeles.

But with about 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the Bulls up by 24,  AC Green missed a shot that ended up in Scottie Pippen’s hands who dropped it off for Jordan. Jordan dribbled up the court before flicking the ball to Cliff Levinston who takes a single dribble before passing the ball back to Jordan just outside the foul line.

And then spectacular happened.

I sprang off my couch to get a closer look at what I just saw. Are you kidding me? I fumbled for the remote to the VCR and watched it again. And then again and again and again.  I must have watched that 20 second stretch at least two dozen times.

I know what I saw: Jordan takes one dribble at the foul line, elevates as if he’s going to throw the ball down with his right hand. Then, at the last second, moves the ball to his left hand and gives the ball just enough English to bank it in off the square.

My eyes saw it but my mind could not comprehend it.

That was 20 years ago and it’s still the most spectacular shot I’ve ever seen.

Doing The Math

My oldest daughter likes me remind me that I will be 63 years old when our baby turns 18. Not that it bothers me much but it has made me think about taking care of my body so that I’m able to be involved in his activities, whatever they may be.

My mother liked to tell me that she had all five of her kids by the time she was 26 years old. I was into my 30’s before our first child arrived, but she had better luck with her three daughters.

There are times I wish I had more energy to chase the kids around the yard, but am making an effort to take them to play racquetball with me on Saturday mornings, ride bikes with them, and finding other ways to be a part of their goofy lives, even if that means learning what Minecraft is all about.

 2012-03-10 10.07.50  2012-08-28 19.56.33

By far the biggest difference I made was remove myself from the corporate rat race over two years ago. Instead of leaving the home to catch the train or bus before anyone else was out of bed, I now get up with 6 am with my daughter who is in middle school. The only thing she likes more than school is talking about school. While we sit around the kitchen table, she tells me about her teachers and classmates, and I get to see a side of my daughter I didn’t know existed.

When I drop Luca off at the bus stop, I return home and help get three more kids ready to school. Two years ago I couldn’t tell you what any of them liked for breakfast. Now know that Anna likes cereal, Lincoln loves oatmeal and Kai likes waffles. That’s progress.

I’ve had jobs that required keeping strict hours in the office if only to look busy. I’ve had jobs that required substantial travel, often weeks at a time. At my last job I spent 15 hours each week in my car or on the bus. That time away from my family added up quickly, and I often felt like an outsider in my own home.

But that has changed now. I feel blessed to have found a position that allows me to flex my schedule so I can spend time with my family each morning, requires no travels and encourages employees to work a reasonable schedule.

This morning, I noticed my daughter forgot to grab her lunch box. I was able to ride my bike to her school to drop off her lunch and still make it into work in less than half the time it took to drive to my last job.

Next time Luca reminds me how old I’ll be when our last child reaches his teens, I’ll remind her how much wiser I’ll be too. That will make her laugh.