The Blur on a Bike

I was shooting the basketball outside tonight when a blur went by on two wheels. The blur was giggling and yelling, “LOOK DAD!”

Well, I’ve seen this blur before. It’s the same one that sends me off to work each morning with a sore hand full of high fives. It’s the same one who has yet to put shoes on the right feet, and the one who blesses her brother’s butt during family prayer.

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Anna Lynn brings a lot of joy into our lives along with a fair share of “Did she really just say that?” looks of bewilderment.It’s hard to explain the joy one derives from watching your children learn new skills, especially those which bring so many smiles.

But I was still surprised to see her zip around the cul-de-sac tonight on a bike without training wheels. Her brown hair flew in the wind as it stuck out from under her helmet. Her legs were peddling as fast as they could go as she gripped the handlebars in that awkward manner that says, “I’m new to this so watch out!”

That’s when I yelled out, “Hey, show me how you stop”.

She whipped around the corner and slammed into the door of the neighbor’s Ford Taurus.

I guess it’s time for a lesson on brakes.

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The Most Valuable Skill I Gained In College

Assuming I work into my mid 60’s, I’m nearing the half-way mark of my career. Although I attended a couple of quarters of college before spending two years working as a missionary for my church, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about what to study until well into my junior year at the University of Utah. And even then, I had no idea where a degree in German coupled with a few business courses would take me.

I didn’t realize that few would ask about my major course of study or what I learned. Sure, they appreciated the fact that I had I degree, but that was merely the first hurdle to jump. Having a degree got me a 30 minute interview slot with companies like Sears, Enterprise Rent-A-Car and Deseret Book. If they valued what I learned in four years of college courses, it didn’t come through during the interview process. What did come through was the fact that I’d run the gauntlet of late nights, early morning courses and teacher assistants. I’d stuck it out, and hopefully some of those endurance skills would translate to a successful employee.

Now that I’m more than 15 years removed from the college scene, I’ve thought about what I learned and what I’d change if I knew then what I know now. I’ve thought about what I’ll tell my children when they consider going away to college.

The best I came up with is this:

COLLEGE OPENED MY MIND TO DIFFERING IDEAS

It’s taken a while to recognize how valuable this been. I grew up in a mid-sized town in Utah where many neighbors shared basically the same values. Diversity was defined by the the color of your skin and by the church you attended each Sunday.

But college changed all this. Suddenly I was faced with ideas I’d never considered let alone heard. I was forced to take a position on topics outside of my comfort zone. I had to research and think through various ideas. I had to fight through many prejudices. I had to finally stand on my own two feet. More than once this resulted in admitting, “I don’t know why I believe this” or “I’ve never considered that before”

Sure, I’ll probably tell my kids that earning a college degree will put them in a better position to earn a good living and how it will teach them valuable skills such as writing and introduce them to topics like music and art which they otherwise may not have considered.

Side note on writing skills – I’m usually able to predict whether or not an applicant has earned a degree before I get to the education section of the resume. Occasionally I’m fooled, but not often. Writing is so important in our business that I Google every applicant’s name looking for details I can’t find on your resume. If I find your blog, I’ve hit the gold mine. If you’re a great writer this can be a very good thing.

If you’re currently looking for a job, do you have a blog? If so, does it represent you well to potential employers?

But my hope is that college will challenge their minds and force my kids to consider new ideas. I hope some will contradict their current beliefs. That’s when the real growth occurs.

I see too many young men and women turn away from college to pursue careers in technology or other disciplines that don’t necessarily require a college degree. For them, college is a means to an end where the end is an adequate paying job. If they can skip college to collect a paycheck then why stick around another 4 years?

I understand there are exceptions, but I believe these young people are sacrificing long term benefits for short term financial gain. That $20/hr. job may sound sufficient today, but will they be happy when they’re passed over for promotion down the road when they go up against the coworker with a degree? I’ve seen this happen dozens of times at the companies I’ve worked for. What’s sad is that the employee who was skipped over often has no idea why.

I’m thankful my father worked his way through college with two young children and a part-time job washing cars. He set a good example that helped me stay in school during several times I considered leaving. Having gone through it himself, his encouragement carried more weight than had he dropped out or not gone at all.

On My Mind

The skies of Seattle stubbornly opened up and allowed a few hours of sun to shine down on us today. We’ve been waiting for signs of spring when the kids can go outside without tracking a dump truck full of dirt inside our home.

After a morning of basketball my legs were wobbly, my body ached, and my mind was everywhere yet nowhere. Do you recall a time when you were day dreaming yet couldn’t remember a single topic or idea afterwards?

That’s how I felt today as I pulled through Wendy’s with a large Diet Coke in hand. I noticed the blue sky and decided to pull over and enjoy a few minutes of solitude. I turned off my iPhone and the radio. Only the sun roof was open, and my scalp was already warm from the sun beating down on it.

At home was Kim who had been watching our four children for several hours. Well, watching certainly doesn’t do justice to the energy and patience it takes to care for young children. She would have made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, made beds, done laundry and got dressed while our one year old scattered measuring cups, cereal, laundry, and pots around the house.

Still I sat there in my car enjoying a few minutes minus the kids. It’s been a few years since I’ve had time to myself. When I first moved to Seattle I liked to drive across the floating bridges that connect Seattle to Mercer Island and Bellevue. Late night was the best time because I would open the moon roof and enjoy the cool breeze and star spotted dark skies on clear nights.

Maybe it’s the news. Or the economy. Or the job. Where is this country headed and what does the future hold for my children? Will I have a job a year from now? If I don’t, what will I do to support my family? Is Seattle where we should continue to live?

This is the most unsettled I’ve felt in my life. Yet it comes at a time when I feel we should be putting down roots which provides that stability for our children. I grew up in one city, in one house while my dad worked the same job for over 30 years. Is that how it’s supposed to be done?

I don’t know.

I flipped the ignition key and my quiet few minutes were history as I headed back home up the twisty roads of Lea Hill. I took the long away around the hill. I turned onto our street and drove to the end before pressing the button that opened the garage door to our humble yellow home.

As I was getting out of the car, Luca appeared. She stood there waiting for me to come around the car where she could give me a hug.

“But I just finished playing basketball and my hair is still wet”

“I don’t care, Dad. I missed you”

I should have taken the short cut.

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The Beanbag Chair

Last night, I grabbed the Car & Driver magazine that arrived in the day’s mail and took a seat on the couch. It’s a decent sized couch with plenty of room for an adult and a few children.

But my kids mistake the couch (and my body) for a beanbag chair they can mold and contort to their liking. First Luca asked me to lay down so she could recline across my chest. Although that position makes it more difficult to read my magazine, I’m happy she wants to spend time next to me, so I change positions.

That lasts about two minutes before Anna Lynn jumps on the back of the couch and slides down the cushions until she’s settled across my legs.

So now I’m trying to read the latest mid sized sedan comparison with what feels like a 45 lb. steel ball with long hair wedged against my diaphragm. Anna Lynn has wiggled herself into a position that’s cut circulation to my legs causing them to tingle.

I’m spending far more time keeping strands of blond hair out of my eyes, mouth and nose than I am reading car reviews.

It’s about this time that I’m reminded how much money I’ve spent over the years on car seats, strollers, high chairs and bouncy seats. All these products have a use, and can add to the safety and convenience of securing and transporting children.

But kids don’t care about any of that. They don’t want to be strapped, tied of fastened to a chair for long. Who would?

It won’t be long before my children are too big to rest across my legs. The days I can carry them on my shoulders to bed are numbered. That 4 year old daughter I fling over my back and twirl around until she’s dizzy has a fast approaching expiration date.

Last night I realized how much I will miss nights like this one. I don’t know if the couch will be around when the kids no longer treat me like a beanbag. I know I’ll be sad the first time they sit at the opposite end, far away from me with two feet on the floor.

I still have the better portion of my favorite magazine to read.

But it will have to wait until the feeling in my legs returns.

Zigzagging Through Life

The Evergreen Point Floating Bridge (or the 520 bridge to locals) cuts through the University of Washington as it connects Redmond with downtown Seattle. A good portion of 520 sits right on Lake Washington. The scenery is breathtaking during most of the year including views of Mount Rainier and Mount Baker on clear days.  The blue waters of Lake Washington are dotted with sailboats in the summer and fishing boats in the fall. If you look closely you’ll catch a glimpse of the Bill Gates mansion tucked into the Medina hillside. During windstorms, waves crash down on the bridge closing it to all traffic. When the fog rolls in, it appears as if you’re driving on water.

The 520 is an impressive engineering feat. Yet it’s home to one of the most stressful stretches of interstate I’ve encountered.

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When I began working at Microsoft in the mid 90’s, I was living in a small one bedroom apartment on Capitol Hill only blocks from downtown Seattle. After work, I’d jump into my black Volkswagen Passat and head west on 520. About a mile from Lake Washington, 520 intersects with HWY 405. Unless you’re paying close attention, and have begun to slow down, it’s easy to zip right past turnoff. And because of the way the off-ramp wraps its way up towards Bellevue, drivers must slow to a near crawl in order to safely navigate the corkscrew turns onto southbound 405.

Of course, the last thing I wanted to do was slow down for a herd of Range Rovers and Mercedes heading to Bellevue. All I needed to do was stay on 520, cross the bridge and fly into Seattle as fast as I could without getting pulled over. So I’d dart between slower moving cars. I’d change lanes without much regard and use my horn liberally. This resulted in drivers giving me the finger liberally.

We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain

Pink Floyd

It was a game. And if the game got me home two minutes earlier than I would have otherwise, then so be it. But I would arrive home exhausted. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. All the zigzagging through traffic wore me out physically and mentally.

Which brings me to this past week, nearly 15 years later. I no longer live in Seattle and my trusty black Passat is long gone.

But I found myself on that same stretch of 520 heading towards Seattle doing my best to keep up with traffic. Suddenly I found myself darting in and out of traffic. Maybe it’s instinct based on those many years of driving this stretch of interstate. I fight the urge to weave in and out of traffic. No way can I let anyone pass me!

Lift. Foot. Off. Accelerator.

I downshift from 5th to 4th gear and pulled BEHIND a UPS truck which is something I’ve never done before. Every impatient driver knows you can cut off UPS drivers. They may honk, but they won’t give you the finger.

Back then I would have had Alanis or Oasis blaring through my speakers. But now my iPod is playing some Chris Botti off my Jazz playlist. The drive is no longer a game. I don’t have to beat anyone home.

Maybe it’s the stage in my life. Could be the kids, or the slower reflexes. But I no longer feel the need zoom through life in 5th gear.

Sometimes life is better appreciated in 3rd.

Photo by Svensk

Laughter

It doesn’t take much. The smallest action. A certain word. Even a glance at the right time sets off a string of laughter. It usually starts with Anna Lynn. But it doesn’t take long before it spreads to Luca and Lincoln.

Within seconds all of them are laughing uncontrollably.

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Luca laughs till tears roll down her cheeks. Anna Lynn’s laugh is loud and startling. And Lincoln laughs so hard he can barely breath.

Tonight I enlisted their help to wash our van. I asked Luca to wash the windows. Lincoln was supposed to wash the grill while Anna Lynn scrubbed the tires.

That’s how I planned it. But I should know better. Attempting to plan an activity that includes a bucket of water, a hose and a giant pink sponge results in sensory overload.

Things went as planned for at least 10 seconds.

Although the van wasn’t getting any cleaner, the kids were. Wet rags and went flying. Someone got squirted. And somehow I got smacked in the head with a sopping wet pink sponge.

And that’s when the laugher started. I wasn’t sure what to think as I cleared soap bubbles from my ears and attempted to regain my composure. Should I be upset? Should I send them to their rooms? Which kid possessed the accurate aim?

What would you do?

I decided to do what any reasonable father would do.

I took the sponge and dunked it in the bucket of water before chasing them around the yard.

Our van is a lot cleaner tonight.

And our family is a little closer.

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Signs of the Economy

When I moved to Auburn, WA just over three years ago, one of the main roads leading into town was filled with new and used car dealerships.  Today a few of the largest dealers along auto row remain such as Honda, Toyota and Volkswagen, but many of the smaller, independent ones are empty.

But today, I noticed one of the larger and newest dealers had stopped selling cars. The Nissan dealership couldn’t have been more than a couple years old. The building and sign look brand new. But not a sign of a single new or used car for sale. Not to mention the jobs that just disappeared.

According to the sign in the lower left corner, the service department is still open although I don’t know if that’s still the case. It wasn’t open when I took this picture this afternoon.

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This next picture was taken across the street from the main Nissan building that sold new cars. This is the used car lot for the same dealer. All the cars had been removed, but they left the blue sign on the grass that says, “SALE”. 

No Nissans for sale here. But the yellow sign hanging off the adjacent car dealer said something about getting a Suzuki for $189/month. I’ll pass.

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I wonder what auto row will look like in 6 months or a year from now? Will the Honda, Toyota and VW dealerships survive? As I drove back home I noticed a couple browsing cars at the Honda dealer. I didn’t see a single person looking at cars at Toyota or VW. Many dealerships displayed banners touting low interest rates or large rebates. One said, “YES, we have money to lend!!”

Hoods were opened, parking lights were illuminated on and balloons flew from antennas attached to new cars.

It’s hard to imagine these tactics will attract many buyers in this economy.

Connecting With Your Customers

The last few times I’ve visited the Taco Time in Bellevue, WA the manager has approached our table near the end of our visit to ask if we were pleased with the food and service. The last time I purchased tires, the manager of Discount Tire stopped by to meet me when I returned to pickup my car. He wanted to ensure I was satisfied with my new tires and the service his employees rendered. And I recently wrote about my experience at a local carwash where the owner went out of his way to learn about me.

This got me thinking about how well I know the customers in my line of business and how often do I reach out to them.  And more importantly, how well do I know what they are looking for. Why do they choose to do business with us over a competitor or vice versa? What could we do better? Which customers are our biggest fans?

These are a few questions I’ve asked myself as our business has become more competitive yet our market is shrinking.

If given a choice, I will do business with people I know and have build a relationship. That ranges from a $20 haircut to a $20,000 car. I find it curious that some owners make it a priority to get to know their customers and some don’t seem to care. Are you willing to step out from behind your desk and actively search for opportunities? Or will you kick back and browse through the customer surveys once a month?

I once worked for a company where, at the end of every project, the CEO called the client. Instead of focusing on the survey return rate, his focus was on listening to each customer. He’d organize the feedback, both positive and negative, and present it at our company meeting each month. This feedback was much more valuable than raw numbers. Most customers appreciate the opportunity to speak with the CEO. It sends the message, “Your business is important to us”.

A few weeks ago I took in a pair of shoes for repair. The man who took my shoes was the owner. He repaired the shoes and took my money when I came back for them. When he said, “I appreciate your business” I knew he meant it. It wasn’t some required scripted question we’ve all heard like “Would you like to save 10% today by applying for a Target card?” Not every business is small enough to allow the owner to interact with all clients. But I believe all business owners should look for opportunities to listen to their clients and encourage their employees to do the same.

Luca’s Baptism

For an hour today everything except my daughter took a backseat.

It was a wonderful, peaceful, spiritual hour.

Luca and I wore white jumpsuits as we sat next to each other in the chapel. She told me her feet were cold. I told her mine were cold too. She placed one of her feet on mine to prove hers were colder. They were.

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When it was our time, I held her hand as we walked down the hall towards the baptismal font. She entered the font through one door while I went through another.

Down the stairs and into the water we waded. She stretched her hand towards me not knowing how deep the water was. I whispered in her ear that everything would be fine.

A group of friends had gathered around the font to witness this special event in the life of our oldest daughter. I know Luca was comforted by the sight of familiar faces in the crowd.

After the prayer, I gently immersed her entire body in the warm water. She regained her balance and gently shook her long, wet hair. Everything was fine.

I kissed the top of her head before leading her back up the stairs where mom was waiting.

And like that, the hour had slipped away.

It’s now midnight in Seattle and the kids are down for the night. The house is quiet except for the dog snoring at my feet. I’m watching the snow fall outside the window on this cold, dark night.

These are a few of the details I will remember about the day I baptized our first child.

Because for an hour today, everything except my daughter took a backseat.

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Through The Window

She wasn’t expecting to see him. All she knew was that he’d  be at her baptism on Saturday. But she wasn’t expecting to see him at her school.

Yet there he stood in Lincoln’s classroom waiting for the bell to ring. A line of kindergarten students stretched across the room. Jackets were zipped and backpacks thrown over shoulders. Twenty little bodies of bottled up energy ready to burst out the door.

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I stood at the back of the line with my father. He’s not small in stature and, his booming voice can be intimidating. But he’s a gentle man with immeasurable love for his grandchildren. Although my mother has been ill for many years, making trips for her to Seattle a rarity, he’s flown up on his own every six months to see his only four grandchildren who live outside Utah.

Still waiting for the bell to ring. Once out the door we’d head down the hall towards Luca’s 2nd grade class where we’d hand out donuts to celebrate her birthday.

And that’s when I noticed a little girl with long brown hair wearing glasses and a bright pink shirt push her face up against the window. Her hair was wet and her glasses fogged up but that didn’t stop her from looking into Lincoln’s classroom. I waved, but she didn’t see me.

But when her grandpa waved, she saw him. Her eyes lit up and a huge smile stretched across her face. I turned to catch my dad with the same sized smile. Does it get any better than having your grandpa visit?

As I stood there taking it all in, I was filled with joy. This might be a very small slice of life. But sometimes the smallest slices are the most flavorful.

I’m thrilled my oldest daughter has a close relationship with her grandpa. I didn’t mind being overlooked as she peered through the window today. Her smile. That gorgeous smile told me everything I needed to know.