Skipping Through the Leaves

I sat in my car parked just outside the school. I was 20 minutes early before our two oldest children would walk through the doors towards the buses lined alongside the playground.

The sky was overcast except for a slice of sun that shined down upon a row of maple trees.  Occasionally a gust of wind whipped through the neighborhood and knocked hundred of leaves off the branches blanketing the streets. It looked like a delivery truck carrying bright yellow and red Post-It Notes had turned over setting the street ablaze with color.

leaves

I don’t often have the opportunity to pickup my kids from school. I’m sure Lincoln will tell me what he did at recess, and Luca will explain what she had for lunch. I think back to what I did in third grade, and all I remember is running home from school because my teacher slammed a ruler down on my desk. I probably deserved it.

The bell rings four times and the kids begin running in all directions. Excitement reflects off their faces. I can’t tell if the children are carrying the backpacks or vice versa. I stand just outside Lincoln’s class which doesn’t mean much because he runs out the door and right past me. “Oh, hi Dad”, he says when I catch up to him. He’s wearing a blue and gold crown he made in class.

“Did you know this crown makes me a king?” he asks.

“Oh does it? What does a king do?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I think they sit around and wear hats”

Luca’s class exits from the back of the school. Lincoln and I stood on the sidewalk hoping she’d notice us as she walked towards the bus. A few minutes went by, and I wondered if she’d already boarded the bus. She would not be happy if I picked up Lincoln and left her on the bus.

As I was about to look for her near the school entrance, I saw a girl in a red sweater running towards us. Her blond hair bounced up and down. But it was her smile I recognized.

“Dad! Dad! I love when you come get us!”

She removed her backpack, threw her arms around my neck and gave me a cold kiss on the cheek.

I threw both backpacks over my shoulder, and took each of them by the hand.

Just in time to skip through the leaves falling in the breeze.

My Favorite Blogging Music

Some nights I don’t feel like blogging. No, most nights I don’t feel like blogging. My mind wanders. I click around the web wandering aimlessly until I get bored or run out of internet.

But I’ve found that the right music can put me in the blogging groove. That’s when the thoughts flow from my mind onto the paper instead of having to harass them out.

Using iTunes I’ve created a playlist that I’m constantly refining. Most times it helps me relax which occasionally leads to writing. Not always, but often. As much as I enjoy listening to classic rock, it does not help me collect my thoughts. I can’t listen to music with lyrics I’ve known since I was 16. My playlist is made up mostly of mellow music. I tried to select a few songs you may not have heard before.

Here are a few of my favorite songs to blog to. I was going to comment on each of them. But like most music, I can’t put into words why each song does what it does. 

botti
She Comes From Somewhere by Chris Botti

Listen at Last.fm

 

ivy
Edge of the Ocean by Ivy

Listen at Last.fm or YouTube

 

swimming
When Mac Was Swimming by Innocence Mission

Listen at Last.fm

 

seankelly
Old Man on the Moon by Sean Kelly

Listen at Last.fm or YouTube

 
 
fearless
Fearless by Pink Floyd

Listen at YouTube

 

tears
Woman in Chains by Tears for Fears

Listen at Last.fm or YouTube

Learning From My Father

If I were to sum up my father in one sentence it would be this:

He’s planned out where he’ll spend Thanksgiving through the year 2017.

That tells you a lot about my father. He’s incredibly organized, and he likes to plan out his days, weeks and holidays. He flies to Seattle a few times each year, and I look forward to the phone call the night before where he shares the flight details with me. He not only tells me his arrival time and airline choice, but he shares with me his seat assignment, plane make and model, weather forecast (Salt Lake City and Seattle) and whether he’ll be served a snack or full dinner.

This level of detail and organization didn’t always translate well to the habits of a young boy. My father liked to get up early each morning and accomplish a lot of  before noon. His schedule was front loaded while mine was back loaded. There were times I wanted to mow the lawn or weed the garden later in the day when shade appeared. That didn’t always go over well with my dad.

But over the years, I’ve come to appreciate my father’s way of organizing his life, and I believe he’s able to appreciate mine. I could not keep his schedule, and he could not keep mine. That’s OK.

I’m more spontaneous. I don’t plan out as many elements of my day as my father does. I’m certain some of our differences are generational. My father spent over 30 years teaching in the same school district. I can hardly imagine spending 3 years in the same job. My father is the loyal, life-long employee and I’m the nomadic free agent.

As I help raise our children, I wonder which of my traits I will pass on to them. I also wonder which ones they’ll wish had fallen off the family tree.

One of my father’s best traits today is one I don’t remember him exercising very often for the first 20 years of my life: telling his children how much he loves them. This is something I’m trying to do more of although it comes more naturally with my daughters. I don’t know why.

Tonight, when I tucked Lincoln into bed, I kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him without giving much thought to it. As I got up to leave he asked:

“Dad, why do you tell me you love me every day?”

“Because I don’t want you to forget”

He giggled a few times and, although it was dark, I could see a smile stretch across his face.

I think my dad would have been proud.

InstaPaper for the iPhone and iTouch

InstaPaper is an app for the iPhone and iTouch that flies under the radar. Occasionally I’ll read a review about it online but few of my friends mention it among their favorite apps. 

But this is one fantastic app, and one of only a handful I use half a dozen times each day or more. If you’re a news junkie, just download it right now. You’ll love it.

 instapaper

In short, InstaPaper allows you to save web pages to your iPhone and iTouch for offline or later viewing. Say you come across an article on Techmeme that looks interesting, but you don’t have time to read it. Just click one button on your browser’s toolbar and, the next time you launch the app on your iPhone, the entire article will be there for you, neatly formatted.

InstaPaper comes in two versions: a free version with a few ads and a Pro version without ads for $4.99. I’m using the free version for now, but plan to purchase the Pro version soon.

InstaPaper doesn’t replace a good RSS reader on the iPhone like Feeds which syncs with Google Reader. InstaPaper is best for those article you find while browsing around the web. Maybe you’re interested in the article but don’t necessarily want to add the site to Google Reader. InstaPaper is perfect for capturing the content you want at the moment you find it with no hassle.

Give it a try.

Washing Dishes

It started by making a strange grinding sound and ended by filling with water before turning itself off. Since we bought this house four years ago the dishwasher is one of the few appliances we haven’t replaced.

But it was clear something was wrong that I wasn’t going to be able to fix with a Phillips screwdriver. That’s the litmus test when it comes to home repairs; can it be repaired with a screwdriver, electrical tape or hammer. I’ve built dozens of computers from scratch, but I can’t find the wall stud if my life depended on it. The last home repair I attempted had me breaking off a pipe between two walls on a Sunday.

I have no idea what’s wrong with our dishwasher. The door doesn’t close tightly, but it does make strange sounds while filling with water. Yet, I could live with these minor drawbacks if it would just clean the dang dishes.

“Hey Lincoln, will you grab a screwdriver from the toolbox?”

After bailing a couple gallons of water from the basin with a kid’s sippy cup, I’m ready to remove that one part that looks like a helicopter blade shooting water upwards. It’s the only moving part I can find so I figure it must be the culprit. One very long screw removed the blade along with a handful of other parts. Of course, I don’t really pay attention to where they came from or how they were assembled.

They kids have now assembled around the dishwasher for their first lesson on how not perform a dishwasher repair. I’ve got a blade in one hand and various parts in the other. My shirt is soaked and my face is dripping with sweat.

“Dad, are you fixing it or making it worse?”

I’m going to act like I didn’t hear that. I feel that, as the man of the house, I have to make a repair attempt even if my odds for success are less than 2%.

That was a couple of days ago, and our dishwasher remains silent. Tonight Kim made a great dinner with spaghetti sauce made from tomatoes we canned along with squash grown from our garden. The parmesan breadsticks were so tasty I downed two of them right out of the oven.

When we finished dinner the kids ran off to play Nintendo. Normally, I’d run off to the computer or ESPN. But tonight I stayed back and dried dishes while Kim washed. I was reminded of a large family who grew up down the street from us whose father, when asked why he didn’t own a dishwasher replied, “I have nine dishwashers” referring to his nine children.

Kim didn’t complain about having to clean all the pots and pans by hand. But Kim never complains about anything. She handed me dishes one at a time while I dried them off. Occasionally I had to ask where a certain utensil or container should be stored. Next time I need the basting brush, I know exactly where to find it.

While we worked, Kim told me about her day taking a group of pre-school kids to the pumpkin patch. She explained how Luca arrived home from school in such a good mood that it rubbed off on her brothers and sisters. I realize her day was a lot more stressful than mine was.

In about 30 minutes the kitchen looked spotless. Every dish, pot and pan was clean and put away. The dishwasher is still broken.

But my relationship with Kim is a little stronger.

The Afternoon I Put My iPhone Down

Years ago I attended a banquet at Brigham Young University where Jeffrey R. Holland spoke. He was the president of the university at the time. He was introduced to the group by his wife who described him as the ultimate multi-tasker. She told us about how each morning he’d sit at the kitchen table eating his breakfast while reading the news, taking notes and conversing with his children. She explained how he felt like he was wasting time by not working on more than one thing at a time.

When I heard President Holland speak, I felt like a slacker. When I’m having  bowl of cereal for breakfast, I struggle to chew and read the back of the cereal box at the same time. I can’t imagine adding a few more chores to my breakfast.

Over the years, I’ve thought back to this talk. Technology has made it easier to multi-task since then, but I wonder if we’re better off for it?

I’m not saying what President Holland does at breakfast is wrong. I’m not as busy as the president of a university and can’t imagine the demands it places on his schedule. But I don’t believe that juggling multiple tasks or responsibilities works in all situations.

I’ve been guilty of bringing my iPhone to the dinner table. I know I shouldn’t do it, but it’s not easy to keep it in its cradle while I spend those few minutes with my family. I’m on email for 12+ hours a day, so why do I need to add a 13th?

I took a day off work on Wednesday. When it came time to pickup Anna from the bus, I’d normally take my iPhone along in case I get bored. At the last minute, I placed it back in its cradle.

I made the short walk to the bus stop where I stood on the curb with my hands in my pockets wondering if Anna would be surprised to see me. The warmth of the sun felt good to my face. This is my favorite time of year in Seattle. Just enough blue sky and crisp air to get us through the cold, dark winter months.

The brakes on the bus squealed as the bus descended Lea Hill and turned onto our street. The bus driver waved at me as Anna came bouncing down the stairs. Her blond hair danced off her shoulders as she ran across the street to give me a hug.

“Dad, why didn’t you go to work?”

“Because who would have chased and tickled you after you got off the bus?”

She held my hand as we walked towards home. Well, I walked and Anna skipped and sang goofy songs. She explained why we should walk on the sidewalk and showed me where a mean dog lives. Every sentence is filled with excitement.

Not once did I think about my iPhone. But I did wish our home were a few blocks further from the bus stop.

annabus

9 Reasons to Eat Yogurt

I enjoy frozen yogurt. I had one tonight after we had dinner at PhoThai in Federal Way. During dinner, the following sign hung on the wall over our table.

yogurt

As much as I enjoy yogurt, I’ve never said to Kim, “Hey, let’s grab a yogurt to keep our colons healthy” or “Guess what refreshing dessert reduces yeast infections?”

Maybe 9 reasons is a stretch and 6 would have done the trick? Either way, I couldn’t help but think of the brainstorming session that took place in order to come up with reasons. Can you imagine those that didn’t make the grade?

The sign makes it appear as if fresh raspberries are a topping option. But you’d be wrong if you assumed that like I did when I asked what fruit toppings were available.

“Oreos and almonds except we’re out of almonds”

“OK, I’ll go with the Oreos”

One other nice touch is the red tape over the word, “Sample”. It makes sense because if you’re suffering from an intestinal infection, you’ll want to jump immediately to the full size offering and skip the sample.

Something Only I Get To Do

I don’t know what it is about the third child, but she often gets overlooked. Maybe it’s her age or the fact she has an older brother and sister. Whatever the reason, Anna is often left alone while her older siblings are off celebrating birthday parties or playing with friends. 

lucabeach

When I arrived home from work today, Anna was upset. She’d been told that Lincoln and Luca were playing with Luca’s best friend who invited them over to her home. Anna moped around the basement getting more upset each time we tried to comfort her. There’s always a next time. But to a five-year old, “next time” sounds like an eternity.

It wasn’t long before she was in tears. I’d had enough of her complaining and sent her upstairs to cry by herself before sitting at my computer.

I normally tune out this time of day. Monday’s are filled with mindless tasks like signing expense reports and combing over time sheets. I don’t mind the work, but I’m glad it only needs my attention once a week. By the time I get home, I’m tired and my mind needs a few minutes to decompress. Coming home to a crying child isn’t what I’m looking for, yet that’s what I got today.

I could still hear Anna crying upstairs. I considered sending her to her room where she wouldn’t be heard. I started up the stairs rehearsing what I’d say.

But what came out wasn’t what I had planned.

Anna was curled up on the couch, knees pulled up tight against her chest. Her bloodshot eyes were as red as her dress. When she saw me, she glanced downward.

“Do you want to come with me on an errand?”

*silence*

“You’ll need to put shoes on if you’d like to come along.”

She rolled off the couch and headed towards her closet.

I strapped her into the car and pulled out of the driveway. As we headed towards the gas station, I watched Anna in my rearview mirror. Her eyes were still red and she was sniffling. She looked straight ahead.

She watched me pump gas without saying much. I replaced the nozzle and asked her to help me turn the gas cap till it clicked tight.

“Do you want to go inside with me and choose a treat?”

Finally, a hint of a smile.

On the way home, I watched my daughter look out the window as we passed children playing at the park. Older kids were playing tennis while other shot baskets. Chocolate from her Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup began to cover her cheeks.

A couple of blocks from our home she said, “Dad?”

“What?”

“Was this something only I get to do?”

“Yep, you were the only one who helped me put gas in the car”

I didn’t matter what we did. What mattered to Anna was that she got to do something with nobody else except me. Even if it was only a trip to the gas station with dad. I don’t believe I replaced the fun she could have had at the friend’s house. 

But I know it was something I’ll remember. Because in the past, I would have remained at my computer while my daughter sat alone in her room. 

I pulled up the driveway and into the garage before Anna jumped out of the car and said,  “I can’t wait to tell Luca and Lincoln what I got to do today”.

The Human Connection

Last week I called my credit union to discuss the loan I have with them. I was caught off guard when a woman answered the phone on the second ring. She didn’t route my call to another department. She didn’t take a message and promise to have someone else return my call. She didn’t send me off into voicemail hell.

She listened to my question and solved my problem in under two minutes.

I wasn’t prepared for this.

I’ve been conditioned to expect a voicemail tree created to wear me down. I’m accustomed to reaching the correct department but outside of their office hours. I’m used to leaving a voicemail in what feels like a black hole to nowhere.

Contrast this to the experience I had calling my mortgage company where I’m asked for my account number before reaching a human. By the time I was able to reach someone who could help me, I’d given my address, phone number, date of birth and last 4 digits of my Social Security number FOUR TIMES.

I understand that the economic climate dictates that companies need to cut back, and support positions are often the first to go. It may seem like a no brainer replacing your receptionist with phone tree system, but you miss an opportunity to connect with your customers if you do. And in the long run, that’s a bad business move.

I’m going look for opportunities to support companies that aren’t erecting conversation barriers. Companies like my credit union who answer the phone instead of forcing me into an automated system.

It’s the human connection that matters. Even if it costs a little more.