But Dad, You Promised!

I don’t know how many times I hear that phrase each day. I hear it so often that, like a coworkers hideous playlist, I’ve learned to tune it out over time. I’m quite certain I don’t make all these promises my kids conveniently remember, but I’m outnumbered and sometimes it’s just easier to do what I allegedly promised than fight it.

That’s what happened today when Luca, Lincoln and Anna ran downstairs to assemble behind me. Two of them yelled, "Dad, you promised to print pictures for our pictures books!!" And if that didn’t get my attention, one kid rocked my chair back and forth making it impossible to use my mouse. This is one of those times when it’s best to assess the time it would take me to do whatever was promised versus the time it would take to worm my way out of the task.

I ran the numbers and decided to rescue my eardrums from the high decibel yelling. I mean, how long can it take to print a few pictures and divvy them out to three kids?

That question was answered when I asked each of them to pick a number between 1 and 100 to determine the order of selecting pictures. Anna chose 5, Lincoln went with 9 and Luca bravely chose 7. So we’re off to a rousing start!

Kim and I have taken thousands of pictures from which the kids could choose from. A pattern quickly emerged, and the overwhelming favorite picture each of them demanded I print? One of Elka, our dog. Santa will remember this.

It took several bribes of Cherry Passion Tic Tacs to coerce them into selecting a few pictures of each other along with one or two of mom and dad. But we finally had enough pictures to fill three books worth.

The kids had a blast watching the pictures emerge from the printer. They took turns selecting their 12 favorites. Luca ended up with a good cross section of the family as did Lincoln. Anna was left with a less diverse album having selected pictures of herself with the first six picks. Kim felt like the last kid chosen on the playground as it took several rounds before her picture was selected.

But the albums are now filled. My eardrums have stopped ringing and the mob has dispersed and gone to bed with full sippy cups.

Here’s a picture the small albums upon completion. Anna ripped the spine off hers so I had to improvise with a Macgyver worthy repair utilizing a couple paperclips. 

picbooks

My Favorite Computer Mod

As I installed a new intake fan on my PC this weekend I realized how much I’ve come to appreciate having casters on my case. I bought a Lian Li case six years ago and it’s been the home to four motherboards and countless controller cards.

If you’re familiar with Lian Li you know they make some of the best crafted, best looking all-aluminum cases around. But they can be large and cumbersome to move once everything has been installed especially if you’re one to update and change components regularly. They are also expensive so you’ll want to keep from them dents and scratches the best you can,

Not long after I bought the case, I came across an article about installing casters using parts available at Home Depot which had a number of different models and sizes. As you can see from the picture, I went with a larger size than I probably needed but they roll easily over carpet. Cost: 12 bucks. 

All it took to install was a measuring tape, small drill and bit along with a set of small screws that came with the casters. It took less than 30 minute to install all four all four casters. I spent more time putting the motherboard and controller cards back in place and cleaning up the aluminum shavings.

If you have young kids the casters provide hours of cheap entertainment as you give them rides around the house on a metal box that’s always on the edge of tipping over. It’s that chance of spectacular face plant that gives the ride an extra ingredient of excitement. Note to dads: This feature is best experienced when mom is shopping for expensive skin supplies, fabric or other items guys don’t comprehend.

Here’s my case laying on its side after I installed a PCI parallel card to support my old HP LaserJet 4L printer.

LianLi

Doing Homework with Dad

I arrived home from work tonight to find Kim working in the yard. Lincoln and Anna were chasing each other around the yard playing some sort of demented game of tag that included brooms and plastic shovels.

Luca needed to finish her first grade homework which was difficult to do as she watched her brother and sister through the window. I asked her if she wanted some help and she said, “I wanna go outside” as she slid further down into her chair for a good pouting session.

lucan

I spun my computer chair over to the desk next to her chair. I saw her smile as I nearly fell off my chair after spinning myself silly. She said she was cold so I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her. She looked like a pink burrito. I found a pencil and acted like I was going to spell some words when she leaned forward and said, “No, dad! I can do that”. I said, “Well, it’s blank right now so I’m not sure you can”.

That’s all she needed to hear. She sat up straight in her chair, took the pencil and ripped through the list of 30 words in a couple of minutes. I scribbled my signature on the front page acknowledging she completed her homework for the week. Luca asked why my name looked funny, and I explained to her that I’d written my name in cursive. I wrote her name in cursive as she watched intently and then tried it on her own a few times.

Since she’d finished both her homework from school and the online IELTS course, I mentioned she could now go outside and play until mom came in the house. I was surprised when she said, “I just want you to sit by me on the couch and keep me warm”.

That’s one of the best complements a dad can receive from his daughter.

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What’s Stacked on my Bookshelf

I have this dark brown bookshelf in my office at work that’s full of books and some outdated software. Anyone need a copy of Microsoft MapPoint 2004 or FrontPage 2000? Didn’t think so.

When started this job I felt my shelf could use a little more variety. A little more spice. So I rummaged (maybe it was Kim) through our garage looking for a few books that would add some flair to my office. A few of these books found a home on my shelf.

See if you can guess which books belong to my company and which belong to me.

  1. A+ Certification Bible
  2. In Search of Business Value (go ahead and hurl. I did)
  3. Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums
  4. Visual Basic Fundamentals
  5. The Dilbert Principle
  6. MCSE – Windows XP Professional
  7. Drop Us a Line, Sucker – A Collection of Prank Letters
  8. The Soul of the Salesman
  9. Macs for Dummies
  10. The Onion Presents – Our Dumb Century

As I look over my bookshelf at the selection of books stacked haphazardly on top of each other, I realize it’s a good representation of my job. One can’t pick out one overarching theme just as I can’t select one skill I possess that qualifies me to manage a diverse group of technicians.

The job requires a mix of management, technical and luck. Some days I’m instructing them in technical matters while on others it’s humor that’s needed.

But Most days I sit back and listen to this young group of men and women. My instinct is to offer up advice and provide the adult supervision. But I’ve found it more valuable to bite my tongue in these situations and continue to listen. Oftentimes the process of verbalizing a problem allows for ideas and solutions to develop. The interesting and selfish thing is this: I get more wisdom from them than they do from me.

And some days there’s little I can do but open the Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Albums book and discuss why the Clash’s "London Calling" is listed at #8 while the U2’s  "The Joshua Tree", comes in at #26.

I hope they understand why Rolling Stone got it right.

Breaking the Dress Code

I’ve never understood dress codes. My first job out of college required I wear dress pants, a long sleeve shirt and tie to work each day. At a company training seminar I asked for clarification concerning the dress code and was told it was for my own good. If I dressed up I’d magically treat customers better and "feel" better about myself.

What a total crock! I was just out of college so the brain washing effects hadn’t fully worn off but I knew it was corporate speak back then just as I do today. I believe that I’m more likely to treat coworkers, managers, and customers better if I’m wearing comfortable clothing. That doesn’t mean I should come into work sporting a tank and Speedo. But I should have some level of control over what I wear.

I think my sentiments on this topic stem from an experience I had at the Mission Training Center in Provo when I was 19-years old. I’d been called to serve a mission in Germany and was sent to the MTC for two months to learn some German and hopefully pickup enough church doctrine that I wouldn’t go off to foreign soil and teach false doctrine.

At the MTC one must follow a very strict schedule and dress code. The dress code was quite simple: a dark suit, white shirt and tie must be worn at all times. The only exceptions were during exercise, showering and sleeping. I hadn’t been at the MTC for more than a couple of weeks when I started to feel like clone. I was losing my identity and my personality. I was tired of feeling like a Book of Mormon carrying robot. I had to do something.

That something included stretching the rules a bit. I decided to wear a dark red paisley bow tie to class one morning. As I stood in the breakfast line a number of missionaries in my group thought the bow tie was cool but warned me they weren’t allowed. I didn’t think much of it as I finished my breakfast and ran off to class.

image

In class, we sang, and prayed and sang some more before the German language teacher looked at me and suddenly stopped lecturing. He grabbed two chairs, walked to the door and said, "Elder Nordquist, please follow me".

I walked out of class and sat across from my teacher. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there and stared at me and then my tie. I didn’t know what to say. Finally he asked if I understood why he called me out of class. I told him it probably had something to do with my new tie. More silence. Although we’d gotten along well up to this point it was clear he was disgusted with me. I’d let him down by wearing a devilish bow tie.

I tried to explain that the bow tie has long been considered a formal accessory to a man’s attire. But he was having none of it and shot back that I was intentionally breaking MTC rules. I couldn’t believe how angry he was. At one point I thought he would reach over and yank the bow tie off my neck. Or strangle me. One of the two.

He sent me back to my dorm room for the day. To make matters worse a fellow missionary who was assigned as my companion was also called out to the hall to explain why he’d allowed me to wear the bow tie to breakfast. I guess he was expected to physically stop me from wearing it if that’s what it came to. So the both of us were sent back to our dorm to "think about our actions".

On the way back to our dorm I stopped by the mailroom to pickup a package from my parents. Back at the dorm I opened the box to find a huge bag of Cap’N Crunch Berries cereal. So for the next six hours we munched on handfuls of my favorite cereal.

And since it was my own bag I could pick out a handful of berries without offending my sisters. But my bow tie wearing days at the MTC had come to an abrupt halt.

But I still think, at least for one day, I was the most stylish looking missionary at the MTC.