Searching for “Joy”

I can’t imagine what my mission to Germany would have been like had I not had the solace of music to fall back on. Most days were filled with frustration followed by weeks of rejection.

But music took my mind off the challenges and thoughts of friends and family back home in Ogden, Utah. Songs like “I Am a Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel helped maintain my sanity and gave me the strength to wake up the next morning and continue the work.

A few months into my service I stood at the counter at a tiny music store begging the owner to help me find the CD of a pianist I’d heard the week before. I’d only heard one song, but I loved it and had to have it.

But I couldn’t remember the name of the artist or the title of the CD. The owner was an elderly woman who was uncharacteristically patient with a young man who barely spoke a lick of German.

After listening to a number of classical and new age songs in search of the one, she disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a CD in hand. She said this was her own copy and it wasn’t for sale. The artist was George Winston.

She played the CD over the store speakers. I didn’t recognize the first two songs. But then I heard it. Track 3 off December. Yes! YES!

When the song hit the 1:21 marker I started jumping up and down. The notes danced in a playful manner, and I must have been grinning from ear to ear. It gave me goosebumps.

Unfortunately, the CD had to be ordered and shipped from the US and the cost was around $25 which is a fortune to a missionary. I had to wait another couple of months before I convinced a church member to make me a tape.

But I’ve been a George Winston fan ever since. This is the time of year that December is heard throughout our home.

It made me smile and dance around back then.

It does the same today.

Laughter of the Soul

Anna was on the couch watching cartoons tonight while her brother and sister were in bed. Kim didn’t feel well today so she headed off to bed earlier than usual. That left me and the dog to make sure Anna was watching Dragon Tails instead of Dexter.

I decided this was as good a time as any to spend time with her. I figured she was a bit groggy and wouldn’t try to talk me into building a cushion fort. She was content to lay next to me on the couch as long as she could hog the big pillows and blankets. I was left with one tiny baby blanket and throw pillow.

Anna thought that was funny. I did too until my feet got cold and my head hurt from being propped up by a Fisher Price rotary play phone.

annaly

Anna is our third child. She’s also our most free-spirited and independent child. She’s a peacemaker when she wants to be but can hold her own against anyone. But she’s also our resident comedian who has never told a joke she herself didn’t find gut busting hilarious.

Whenever I’m around Anna I’m usually laughing. Like the time tonight when I fell off the couch or mispronounced the name of her favorite Backyardigan (it’s Pablo not Fabio).

But the laughter can be a problem when it starts at church or when Kim’s trying to get the kids down for the night. Lincoln laughs so hard we think he’s on the verge of passing out. It’s as if his body is too small to contain all that pent up fun and giggles. Anna knows this and puts on a show.

I love the joy and laughter our children bring to our home. Most of the time it’s a result of something only we’d find humorous. Like watching Anna dance until her pants fall down. But most of the time I have no idea why we are laughing. It’s not uncommon for the kids to bust out in laugher around the dinner table while Kim and I stare at each other trying to figure out just happened.

We seldom figure out why they’re laughing, but it doesn’t matter.

Because they can’t laugh without smiling.

Technorati Tags: ,,

What Makes a Good Father?

I used to believe a good father was one who built the largest home for his family.

Or drove the fanciest cars.

Or had the coolest sounding job title. image

Or wore the finest tailored suits.

Or played 18 each week at the country club.

Or owned the neighborhood’s only riding lawn mower.

That’s what I thought anyway. I assumed fathers were supposed to focus 95% of their energy on work and the remainder doing yard work and watching football.

No worries though.

Mom to the rescue. She’ll be there to wipe the tears and bandage the scrapes. She’ll attend the field trips and parent teacher conferences. She knows my favorite snack is Cap’N Crunch from 7-11 cup and chocolate milk from the carton.

In other words, she’s everything the father isn’t.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

What makes a good father?

I’m still trying to fit the puzzle pieces together. At best, the border is in place. 

What I choose to wear or drive makes no difference.

But how much time I spend reading to them does.

So does raking leaves together, camel rides and hot chocolate runs.

One piece at a time.

World’s Wildest Remote

My Tivo remote isn’t working correctly. No matter what I press, it locates a showing of  World’s Wildest Police Videos.

This is a problem because no matter what’s going on around our house, I’m can’t take my eyes off the car chases and crashes and car chases that end in crashes.

It’s television at its finest. I never tire of watching a hardened criminal wrap his Ford F150 around a telephone pole at 90 mph. No messy arrest or criminals going free on a technicality. Just good old fashioned rolling your Chevy Cavalier through a corn field.

Does it get any more exciting than when the cops break out the SPIKE STRIPS?

Here’s my dream remote kindly created for me by my talented friend. The current Tivo remote is almost perfect. A slight modification would remove the ‘almost’.

Tivo_Police

The Answer Escapes Me

When I graduated from college I thought I knew the answers to a number of questions about history, and music and accounting.

A few months into my first real job I figured I knew all about hiring, training and butt kissing. image

When I got married I received on-the-job training in showing courtesy, diplomacy and kindness.

Now that I have four enthusiastic young kids running around the house I know that I don’t know JACK SQUAT.

Which is a huge shot to my ego because I was starting to think I could at least keep my score in the positive and stick around for final Jeopardy were I ever invited to be a contestant during “College Week”.

Having children has only confirmed that I don’t know much of anything. A day doesn’t go by that I’m fielding questions for which Google has no answer. Here’s a sampling of the questions the kids asked me as we washed the cars this weekend:

“What is the most important part of the car?”

“What are windows made of?”

“How does a sponge hold so much water?”

“How come we have to sing in church?”

“How do my new glasses make my eyes see better?”

“Who makes it rain?”

It won’t be long before my kids know more than I do and won’t look to me for answers.

But hopefully they will continue to use my lap as a pillow and my back as a ladder to the top bunk.

Technorati Tags: ,,

Social Overkill

My HP LaserJet 4L is one incredibly slow laser printer. But I don’t care. I paid $800 for it back in 1994 and I’m going to keep that sucker going till it DIES. When I upgraded my motherboard a few months ago I had to purchase a PCI parallel adapter because it doesn’t support USB!

I went to the Office Depot website to order a new toner cartridge for my 4L. I found it quickly and was about to add it to my cart when I noticed the area called out below by my fancy red arrow.

Is this an example of a company jumping on the social media bandwagon? Why would I want to send details of my toner cartridge purchase to Facebook or Digg? Delicious is along for the ride too, and maybe that makes sense if you want to save a link and either don’t have cookies enabled or are on a pubic computer.

This is an example of a large company trying like crazy to implement the cool new internet technology but not understanding how people currently use it.

officedep

But I decided to go ahead and test this cool new social feature from Office Depot. I mean, if someone considers me to be their friend on Facebook then I’m sure they will want to know where I buy my laser printer toner. That’s just how close we are.

facebook

I can’t wait to share more items with my Facebook friends. Imagine their excitement when I shop for replacement staples, double A batteries or super glue. I could be spending hours accepting all those friend requests.

But things don’t go as smoothly over at Digg. Check out what happens when I try to Digg the link to my toner of choice.

digg

Digg checks the URL and reports it as SPAM! I wonder if Digg is blocking all incoming links from Office Deport for this reason? Which is sad because I’m sure a many tech savvy Diggers would be thrilled to hear that I paid retail for toner for a 14 year old printer. Tell me that doesn’t make the front page within minutes.

Nice job, Office Depot!

The Mutant Weeble

I like to call this toy the Mutant Weeble. It’s similar to the Weeble I played with as a child except this one was made by a Russian toy company located near the Chernobyl reactor.

That’s not true but that’s the story I will tell my kids if they ask why his hands are different colors and only have 3 fingers.

This is Kai’s favorite toy, and he’s almost 12 months old.

It’s also my favorite toy, and I’m almost 492 month old.

Kai likes to sit on my lap while I’m at the computer. But only if the Mutant Weeble is close by.

Long live the toy with three oversized Skittles growing from his skull.

sassy

Technorati Tags: ,,,

The Smoke Break

There’s one thing I can always count on when I visit the local Fred Meyer: A group of employees will be standing a few feet from the entrance puffing on cigarettes.

I’m so accustomed this gang of uniformed smokers that I keep an eye out for them when looking for a parking spot. If they are grouped together on the right side of the door, I’ll look for a spot on the left and vice versa.

Sometimes the gang is so large that I can’t avoid their fast moving smoke cloud. Nothing like a nice blast of second hand smoke to the face before heading to the produce section to thump a few cantaloupe.

It shouldn’t be this way.

I don’t know why more business owners don’t designate smoking areas AWAY from where customers can see them. Maybe such areas exist but are not enforced.

If you had an employee with a perpetual flatulence problem, would you have him greet each potential customer with a stink bomb? Yet that’s basically what you’re doing when you allow your employees to blow smoke around the entrance.

Fred Meyer employees are not the only culprits. I’ve pulled up to restaurants only to see a couple of employees sitting on the curb smoking not 20 feet from the entrance. My first thought is, “Are either of those two going to prepare my food?” Lately, I just keep on driving and take my business elsewhere.

Although I find the thought of smoking repulsive, I understand I live in a country where people have the freedom to suck on cancer sticks. What I do not appreciate is having to breath in the pollution this gross habit produces.

As much as I like Fred Meyer, I will take my business elsewhere the next time I notice the chain gang of smokers near the entrance.

Technorati Tags: ,

Look Closely

Kai, our 1 year old son, was putting up a good fight this evening. His little body was exhausted yet he couldn’t stop squirming and yelling. He didn’t want to be cuddled. He didn’t want to be rocked. I have no idea what he wanted.

I grabbed a pillow and placed it on my lap. I took Kai and laid him on the pillow. He couldn’t keep his arms and legs still. He looked like a potato bug that had been turned on its back. His eyes were droopy. His cheeks covered in tears.

kai

I let him twist and stretch until he finally began to settle down. He finally situated himself where he could watch me watch him. I looked into his dark blue eyes and wondered what he’s thinking.

Does he realize how much he’s loved? Does he recognize me? What’s going through his mind as I twirl him back and forth on my chair with George Winston playing in the background?

He searches for my hand until he finds a finger and squeezes it as tightly as he can. His grip feels stronger than his size would reflect. Maybe this is his way of connecting with me.

And that’s fine with me because he’s almost outgrown my lap. It won’t be long till he’s hanging off my back begging me to give him a camel ride around the living room. Or blast him off rocket style onto the top bunk.

Kai could very well be our last baby to keep us up at night.

Be as wiggly and loud as you want, Kai.

I’ll miss it when it’s gone.

Technorati Tags:

Calling the Tootsie Pop Hotline

As I sat at my desk licking a Tootsie Pop a few questions sprang to mind. I jotted them down and decided to call the Tootsie Pop hotline on my lunch break. But before I called, I checked the online FAQ at the Tootsie company website to ensure I didn’t ask a question that had been answered in the FAQ such as, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”image

How unoriginal.  

I dialed and was connected to an operator who quickly transferred me to sales when I explained to her I had a few questions concerning the Tootsie Pop. Sales then transferred me to Customer Relations. I spoke with a very kind woman who answered the following questions:

Customer Rep: So I’m told you have questions about our Tootsie Pops.

Me: That’s right. I won’t take much of your time.

Customer Rep: What are you questions?

Me: Can you tell me what the recommended daily dosage of Tootsie Pops is?

Customer Rep: We don’t make any recommendations. It’s at the parents discretion. Some parents may say one Tootsie Pop is enough while others may allow more. 

Me: What if the Tootsie Pops are for me and I’m trying to figure out the maximum number I can safely eat each day?

Customer Rep: I’m not able to give you an exact number, but you should stop eating them if you feel sick.

Me: What is your most popular flavor?

Customer Rep: Our customers tell us cherry.

Me: Have you considered putting a vanilla Tootsie Roll in a chocolate pop to create a hot fudge sundae flavored one?

Customer Rep: We are continually testing new flavor combinations.

Me: If I were to bite into a Tootsie Pop before realizing there was no Tootsie Roll center, would I be eligible for a refund?

Customer Rep: That seldom happens. But if it did, we could send you a voucher for a free replacement.

Me: That sounds fair. I was looking at one of the wrappers today and realized it’s in dire need of an update. It depicts children taking part in activities most no longer do anymore such as playing marbles, ice skating and riding go-carts.

Customer Rep: What is your question?

Me: I just wonder if the wrappers should be updated to depict those activities kids are involved in today. For example, you could show a couple of boys jamming to Guitar Hero. Or how about a kid checking his MySpace page? My kids love to kick back on the couch and play Nintendo DS.

Customer Rep: I don’t see us changing from the current design although you have several good ideas there.

Me: Do you sponsor a Tootsie Pop fan club?

Customer Rep: No we don’t, but you’ll find a lot of interest in our products on the internet.

Me: Is there anything else exciting happening in Tootsie land I should be aware of?

Customer Rep: We are running several promotions along with a sweepstakes giveaway which you can enter by visiting our website.

Me: Thank you for your time. You’ve been most kind.

Customer Rep: Thank you for calling today.

Technorati Tags: ,