On the way into work today, I got pulled over by a highway patrolman today. As he approached my car, I turned off my iPod and stereo. I took off my sunglasses and put both hands on the steering wheel. I figured he would nail me for not having a front license plate because I certainly wasn’t speeding.

Cop: What’s going on?

Me: Just on my way to work.

Cop: You crossed the white lines back there at the light. That’s one lane back there and you drove over the white line onto the shoulder.

Me: I didn’t realize that. I thought there was enough room for me to pass. I’m sorry.

Cop: Can I see your license and proof of registration?

Me: Sure

He looks at my license,takes out this tiny pad of paper and writes something down.

Cop: Where are you going?

Me: I’m going to work.

Cop: Where do you work?

Me: Near the Microsoft campus in Redmond

I didn’t want him to assume I’m one of those cocky Microsoft millionaires who doesn’t blink at $150 tickets.

Cop: What building?

Me: Building 126 off 151st street.

Why is he asking me this? Is he going to swing by my office for a tour? Then he proceeds to tell me that I shouldn’t be taking the back roads to work. After a brief lecture he hands back my license and insurance card and tells me to be on my way.

I was happy he didn’t give me a ticket. I’ve been pulled over 5 times in my life and never once been given a ticket. This is the first time I had no idea why I was being pulled over.

I’ve only been fired from one job. But I’ve had so many jobs it’s difficult to remember. I was attending the University of Utah and I found a position working on computers at a hospital.

My job was to send bills to patients that were partially covered by insurance. I had to look at one computer system to see how much the insurer covered and compare it to the total amount owed. My employer said the job would take 20 hours a week. But a couple of weeks into the job I’d automated the entire process by connecting both computer systems. I never asked anyone. I just did it.  My employer didn’t like paying me to spend 10 minutes booting up the computers, pressing a few button and then kicking back to read Car & Driver and Sports Illustrated for a few hours each day. Had I had internet access on those computers I imagine I could have looked busy enough keep my job. Minesweeper, where were you when I needed you most?

One day I showed up to work and my boss asked me to show her what I’d done to the billing system. She had this raspy smokers voice that would have passed for Roz on Monsters Inc. I proudly showed her how I’d connected the billing systems. Instead of rewarding my ingenuity, she said I needed to find another job because this position was a 20 hours/week position that was partially funded through the school. Anything short of 20 hours and the position could be yanked.

Basically, I was penalized for creating a more efficient billing system. The lesson I learned from that job was that I shouldn’t rock the boat. No need to make suggestions because it could result in losing my job. Just show up, do what I’m asked even when it doesn’t make sense. Keep my mouth shut.

Over the years I’ve learned there’s a fine line between offering suggestions and being a pain in the ass. I’m surprised I’ve not lost more jobs on account of making suggestions or questioning why a certain process is in place. Many companies are like that billing department that needed to fill a 20 hour position even when it could be completed in a fraction of the time.

Most large companies include a layer of employees who spend much of their time making sure their job will will be needed in the future. They create wacky processes that contribute nothing to the bottom line. I’m reminded of these positions every time I drive through Oregon. If you pull over for gas in there you are not allowed to pump your own gas. Instead a station employee does it for you. This makes no sense, but I’m sure those meaningless positions are nearly impossible to do away with. Some economist has probably created an economic impact report that shows devastating repercussions if the positions were dissolved.

So I’m left to wonder if I keep my mouth shut or try to speak up when I see inefficiencies at work. Maybe I should push the envelope further and see what I can change. Then again, I need my job. Maybe I’m playing it too safe unless my job is occasionally on the line.

The old grungy Auburn Taco Bell got a facelift. It now looks more like a fancy sit down restaurant that serves Chalupas and Crunchwrap Supremes. But that doesn’t mean they have abandoned the goofy signs of the old building. Today’s sign proudly proclaims “WE ARE ALWAYS HIRING”.

I mentioned this on Twitter and and one of my followers replied: “It’s matched by one inside the kitchen that reads: ALWAYS FIRING.” I’m curious to know how current employees feel about this.

The other sign concerns a topic I’ve mentioned before. As I drove by the neighborhood 7-11 I noticed a huge sign hanging off the front of the store that says, UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.

Now this isn’t a hotel or barber shop or even a dry cleaners where a new manager could inject new life into a sagging business by improving customer service. The only time I’ve ever seen a 7-11 employee put down his Maxim and step out from behind the circular counter was to change the nacho cheese packet.

But the best part of this sign at the 7-11 is found on the 2nd line which says, COME SEE OUR NEW PRODUCTS.

New products at 7-11? Really?

Does this mean they have a new line of beef jerky or new Slurpee flavor? Maybe it means a new line of energy drinks and pre-paid phones. Whatever it may be, it must be exciting given the effort that went into the sign.