The Longest Three Hours

Church used to be the most relaxing, enjoyable three hours of the week. This was back when Sunday service was about reflection and singing and fellowship. We came home invigorated for the week ahead.

But since we’ve added young children to the mix, church is about as relaxing as a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese. Now church is about:

  1. 45 trips to the bathroom and drinking fountain
  2. Putting Cheerios in the hair of the lady sitting in front of us
  3. Making faces at the people sitting behind us
  4. Giving dad a ‘wet willie’
  5. Searching for the largest piece of bread from the sacrament tray and yelling “OH YEAH!” when found
  6. Using dad’s silk tie to wipe boogers

And this doesn’t even get us half way through the meetings. I’m totally worn out before we’ve heard from the youth speaker.

Today we sat on the far left side of the chapel on a short rows second from the front. Sitting on the front row with kids is pure punishment because there’s nothing to cage them in. So we sit one row back which is great for keeping them from escaping to the drinking fountain, but it puts us in direct view of the bishop and other leaders. I can only imagine what he’s thinking as Anna yells “BUTT!” during the passing of the sacrament.

I suppose it’s good for our kids to learn to behave during meetings and get along in close quarters for a few hours. Church gives them a chance to learn about the gospel and interact with friends and teachers. They have the opportunity to speak and say prayers and attend activities and contribute to service projects.

Maybe next week I’ll bring my own bag of cereal. And it will be some of the good stuff.

Like Cap’N Crunch, because I’m going to need the sugar high to keep up with my kids.

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Pitch, Hit & Run

I grew up in Ogden, Utah two homes away from McKay Dee Hospital and not far from Weber State University. Just past the water fountains and parking lot at the hospital sat a huge grassy area. As kids we’d run though the sprinklers, hit golf balls and play Frisbee on that patch of grass we assumed to be an extension of our own front yard.

But my favorite activity was hitting baseballs. I would spend hours tossing balls to myself and then smacking them as far as I could. I would occasionally hit the sweet spot and knock one into the hospital parking lot. I may have been responsible for leaving a few hood surprises but I’m certain the statute of limitations has long expired. 

glove

I knew I was improving my swing when my dad came over to watch one night and I told him to back way up. He took a few steps back, but I still belted it well over his head. This may explain why it wasn’t long before he told me about a contest called the “Pitch, Hit and Run” that was sponsored by Burger King.

The competition consisted of throwing 3 balls into a net the size of the strike zone, running the bases and hitting a baseball fungo-style (tossing the ball to yourself and hitting it). I don’t recall practicing five minutes for the pitching and running portions of the contest so when I showed up at the little league park to participate, expectations were not very high.

Although I could throw a baseball quite well, I hadn’t practiced much and it showed when only one out of three balls found the net giving me 50 out of 150 possible points. Next up was the base running event and I scored an 80 out of 100 when I slipped going around third base. This left me near the bottom of the standings with only the one event to go. Several of the boys in my age bracket (12-13 year olds) hit the pitching target 2 or 3 times and nearly all collected the full 100 points in the base running portion.

Since I wasn’t expecting much from the start, I didn’t feel nervous going into the last event. I thought, how hard can this be? I’ll just do what I do for hours on the hospital grass each day. I watched the younger boys step to the plate and take their swings. If you’ve ever tossed a baseball to yourself to hit you’ll know the key is to get “under” the ball to give it the desired lift. This requires an uppercut swing compared to the the more level swing I’d normally take during a game.

I was surprised to watch most of the kids barely hit ball out of the infield. They hit the ball hard but were not getting any lift. Occasionally one would hit a pop fly into the outfield but that was rare. I walked over to an area where the bats were located. They were standing up against a chain link fence. I searched for a bat that felt just right. But they all seemed too small or too light. I started to get nervous. I was the next batter in line and I had to find a good bat.

Finally, my name was called and I stepped to the plate without a bat in my hand. As the hitter before me walked by I asked if I could use his bat and he threw it to me. The bat felt good! It felt very good. It was bigger and heavier than the other bats. I looked towards the outfield and saw a number of contest officials waiting for me to swing so they could measure the distance my ball traveled. I had three chances to get a good score. The furthest hit would tally into my overall score.

I tossed the first ball and smacked it over the officials head. I watched as they ran to where my ball had first touched down and measured it. The officials now backed up a little further. I tossed the second ball and hit it very high into the air but not as far as my first try. No need to measure.

Here’s where my competitive nature came out. My father had explained to me before the competition started that the two boys on the west coast with the most points would win a trip to San Francisco for themselves and their parents. That all sounded fun, but what I was most excited about was the possibility of getting to travel by airplane.

I took the last ball in my hand and figured I had nothing to lose. I must have been living right because I detected a small breeze at my back. All I need to do was get that ball into the wind and let it ride. My father had dropped me off at the park and wasn’t able to watch me, but I looked behind me hoping maybe he’d be there.

I stepped up to the plate, lofted the ball just right and swung as hard as I could. My swing felt good, and I could barely feel the ball hit the bat which means I’d connected at the sweet spot. The baseball got up into the air and took off just like it had done thousands of times on the hospital lawn. It kept going and going. I watched the officials begin running for the fence.

But I’d crushed that sucker and the wind was carrying it further than it had any right to travel. The ball sailed over the fence and into the parking lot. One official jumped the fence and tried to locate the exact spot my ball had landed. I watched as they threaded the tape measure through the fence. My ball had flown over the first row of cars and came down in the middle of the parking lot. Kids were jumping up and down all around me. Finally, one of the officials yelled TWO HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN FEET!

I felt like I was floating on air. I jumped up and down and started high fiving people I didn’t know. To a twelve year old boy, it was magical.

When things settled down, I grabbed my glove and waited for my dad to arrive. When he pulled up, he asked how I’d done, and I told him about the hit. I wish he had been there to see it. He said I might have done well enough to earn a trip to San Francisco where I’d compete for a chance to attend the World Series.

What I didn’t know at the time as I sat in the front seat of our Plymouth Duster was how right he was. A few weeks late my mom picked up the phone to find out we were headed to Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

Taco Time Does Not Want My Feedback

We took our kids to Taco Time in Covington last night because our oldest daughter was going to die if she didn’t get some CINNAMON CRUSTOS and what a lame dad I’d be if I let that happen.

After I paid, I was invited to earn a free combo meal by taking a customer survey. I figured I’d take the survey because this Taco Time has screwed up our order on a number of occasions. But they always fix it so I was planning on filling out a generally positive survey.

But Taco Time does not want my feedback.

I went to their website and clicked the “Take our Survey” link and was presented with this message:

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I tried again and and again and received the same message each time.

This is the first I can remember a company saying they have received enough feedback and don’t want anymore. I’ll bet it’s a case of Taco Time not wanting to give out more combo meals. But they should still allow me to fill out a survey.

How can they “appreciate” my feedback when they don’t allow it to be given?

So I went back to the homepage. While I’m here I might as well enter the drawing for the Ford Escape Hybrid, right? That’s almost as cool as CINNAMON CRUSTOS. But when I clicked “Click here for more details” it tried to launch a PDF file.

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Who has time for this nonsense?

Lands End Reaches Out

A day after I wrote about my experience at Sears, I received the following email:

Hello Brett,

My name is Amanda Broderick and I work for Lands’ End.  I ran across your blog posting about your experience at one of our Lands’ End shops within Sears.  We take pride in offering excellent customer service and I’m sorry that you had such a frustrating incident in the store.  We are constantly striving to offer the best service we can and it’s unfortunate that we obviously let you down.  Would you be willing to share which store you visited so we can make sure that the sales associates receive additional training?  Also, we’d love the opportunity to attempt to regain your respect and trust.  May I send you a gift card to put towards a future positive Lands’ End experience?

Warm regards,
Amanda Broderick
Lands’ End

I’m impressed there’s someone at Lands End following blogs and reaching out to customers in this manner.

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Proud Moment

Sure, I was proud the first time I watch Luca perform flawlessly at her piano recital after months of practice.

My heart swelled with joy as I watched Lincoln dribble the ball down the field and kick his first goal during a soccer game this summer.

But I’ve never been more proud of my kids than I was with my 4 year old daughter, Anna Lynn, this week when Kim told me she can whistle the song "Patience" by Guns N’ Roses. I can’t wipe the grin off my face.

Now that’s girl after my own heart!

If Only

I spent the evening at the home of my boss who own a gorgeous home out in the country. Not only is his home gorgeous, it’s a large home on 25 acres and includes a barn, guest home and lots of pasture for his three horses. As I stood on the porch, I watched 3 deer walk across the grass  It’s such a peaceful setting.

As he gave me a tour of his home, I thought to myself, “I’d be a lot happier if I had a home this big”. 

After a few hours, I left his house and drove through a maze of twisty, dimly lit roads to my much smaller home that’s probably not much bigger than his barn. Our home is not decorated as well nor does it have fancy landscaping, exotic stones or many deer passing through the yard. The grass is a little longer than it should be and there are toys scattered throughout the backyard.

It certainly isn’t on par with the house I just visited.

And then I started thinking.

If I had a bigger home I wouldn’t see my kids as much.

If I had a bigger home I wouldn’t be able to hear my kids laugh themselves silly.

If I had a bigger home I wouldn’t overhear the funny stories they tell each other.

Then then I realized that a bigger home wouldn’t make me any happier because I’m already as happy as a father can be.

Remembering the Beijing Olympics

This summer’s Olympic games were so amazing that I’m sad to see them come to an end this evening. Here’s what I’ll remember most:

  1. After winning gold in women’s beach volleyball, watching May and Walsh fall to the sand in jubilation. A wonderful moment!
  2. Usain Bolt’s chest thump on the way to setting a world record in the 100m.
  3. Gymnast Shawn Johnson’s infectious smile.
  4. Lebron James diving out of bounds to save a ball in a game vs. Greece with his team up big. The “Redeem Team” made me proud of the NBA again.
  5. Watching Michael Phelps cheer on his teammate, Ryan Lochte, in the 100×4 relay. The most exciting event I watched.

    olympics

This marks the first Olympics that I watched more of online than sitting in front of the TV. NBC did a nice job of getting video of the events online quickly and the quality was quite good.

What were your favorite moments?

Sears, We Have a Problem

Here’s one of the shirts I purchased at Sears yesterday once I was able to find someone to take my money.

I washed the shirt this afternoon and didn’t realize the associate failed to remove the ink tag until it went through the dryer. What you can’t see in this picture is the red ink stains under the tag. It could have been worse. Best I can tell the ink didn’t bleed into other clothing.

I purchased a similar shirt in burgundy at the same time which had the tag removed. Perplexing.

So it’s back to Sears tomorrow. I hope they have the same shirt in stock.

shirt

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